Tag Archives: reality

Facebook narcissism

kultur_facebook-fac_728700aI have been thinking and watching and wondering about Facebook, this place of maximum narcissism. We can create a new me, the person we want to be and present this person to the world. We choose what we want to show. It is all about beauty and success, this is what is supposed to define our worth. Personal pics are high on the scale of getting action; comments about beauty, youth, sex and success; all superlatives, as well as loads of “likes”. There is an abundance of apps to highlight yourself and place on your wall; these apps will never be negative. I decided to make an experiment using such an app.

The app I used for my experiment was “How old do you look?” I’d seen it around, and decided it was a good choice. The app scans your profile pic and gives you the age you look and then you can post that to your profile. Said and done; “Anna is 52 and looks like 37.”  I posted it to my profile between an article about rape of women and a video presenting a most incredible and impressive 13-year old boy.

After a short time I had loads of likes on this app-post, together with comments such as: “You are always beautiful”, “You never age”…and so on. You know, the standard stuff that Everybody says. The posts around did not have any reactions, no likes, no shares, nothing. And this was seriously interesting and important stuff, the kind of stuff we should be wrapping our heads around.

I left the post up for about a week before taking it down. The trend stayed the same.

Just sayin’

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What are you prepared to give up for life?

Mother Earth is suffering, worse, she’s seriously sick, and she needs help NOW. Right this minute and every minute after that for as long as you can imagine. This is reality. Mother Earth is our life-support and when she suffers, we suffer. She is ill and so are we. The question is; what are you prepared to do, or give up, to save her…And yourself?

It is daunting, isn’t it? Multinational corporations that can’t be touched, using up, polluting and destroying our world. We feel very small in their shadow. We rave and we rant, looking for “clean” solutions, which is good but only goes so far. We live in a world where we take the results of this destruction for granted; electricity, fuel for our cars, foods from everywhere in our corner-shop, new machines, technology…Most everything that we use and feel we need – Every day! What are you prepared to give up? Will you exchange your car for a cleaner alternative, or maybe start commuting? Will you stop buying stuff? Will you turn off your electricity even though it is not a question of economy? Will you keep your old telly, computer, stereo, phone that still works fine and forego the fancy new model? Will you start repairing your old clothes instead of buying new? Everything is limited and everything has a cost. There is no such thing as unlimited resources.

Earth Hour; one hour per year people turn of their electricity to make a stand for Mother Earth; that’s one hour out of 8 760 hours in a year. Why am I not impressed? A lot of people won’t even do this one hour, I have heard some of the comments; “what should I do for one hour without my machines…?” And during this one hour, closed stores are still lit up like Christmas trees so we can look through the window and drool over all the stuff we think that we need or want.

People; if you want change, you will have to be the change. We are all consumers and as such we hold tremendous power. The multinational corporations might seem daunting and we stand before them as Don Quixote before the windmills. But we are the world! Every little person put together become the ruler, but only if we are prepared to put it into action. So again; What are you prepared to give up for life?

We are defined by what we do

Self-definition is always interesting, how we define ourselves. We are defined, not by our thoughts or beliefs, but by our actions. They are a clear give-away as to who we really are and what we believe. It is easy to talk about morals, values and fairness and most of us believe that we are what we say, but more often than not our actions give us away and all the tall words and notions crumble to dust.

I worked with a young girl who was caught shop-lifting and taken to the police-station. As she was questioned about stealing she kept denying it over and over again, even though the police found the stolen trinkets on her person.  When I had my next session with the girl, I told her she was a thief and a liar which she denied most vehemently because it didn’t fit with her idea of herself. So I told her that since she was caught stealing and then lying about it to the police she had, by her actions, defined herself as a thief and a liar. When this penny dropped, she went paler than pale and I could see how hard this truth hit her. So we talked about self-definition and how our actions are a facit to what we actually believe about ourselves. By being clear in our self-definition and then watching how it works in action, we learn valuable things about ourselves and can then change what we don’t like.

No, she never stole or lied again as far as I know and she really learned something about herself. After some time she expressed her gratitude for this difficult life-lesson.