One thing I have noticed time and time again is that many people seem to be very proud of their stress. They are forever listing all the things they have to do, and if you do not praise them they get upset. They are the people who always do more than anybody else. If you say you worked 16 hours in a row, they worked 24. Then there are the people who are forever complaining about their stress; how hard their lives are, how bad they feel and how nobody understands.
What I am hearing in these two groups is the same: Victimization. Stress is nothing to be proud of, it is a sign that all is not well. Most often it is a sign of not listening to yourself and lack of self-respect, no matter if you are boasting or crying about your stress. Both these groups are very difficult to deal with, because they will not accept change. When I make such people list their daily activities, much of what they do is pure rubbish or bad organization and when I point this out, they get upset and I become a “bad guy”. There are forever excuses to why change is not possible, even for such mundane things as changing curtains 3 times a year.
To some people this is part of their “make-up” or personality. It is who they need to be to feel important, to be seen. Victimization functions very well in our society which might be one of the reasons people so easily fall into this trap. (Hand on heart: We have all been there) There are always solutions to any dilemma but we carry the responsibility for our well-being. No matter what kind of person you are, stress will always kick you in the face at one point if you don’t make changes. Some people that I have worked with, become so upset with me that they walk away, only to be back at a later date when they are truly falling apart – usually by disease or unbearable pain. Each time it saddens me that people will allow things to go so far when the problem was quite easily rectified to begin with.
I repeatedly see this phrase in job-ads: “Needs to be stress-resilient”. What is this? Nobody is stress-resilient; some individuals can handle a lot for a long time before they break…but usually they break so much harder. What the job-ads should say is: “Needs to be self-aware”.
I work with health, not disease. My job is to keep my clients healthy and balanced. More often than not people come to me as the “last resort” when nothing else has functioned. From this very low point in their lives it is a long haul to get back to balance. I should be the “first resort”, before things get bad. In China doctors are “judged” by their ability to keep patients healthy and in balance. Maybe a concept that we, in the Western world, should adopt?
Posted in Lifestyle, Personal development, Stress
Tagged balance, complaints, health, personality, pride, self-awareness, solutions, Stress, victimization
I listen to many young people, and what is becoming more and more evident is this constant, incessant talk of body and weight. I am seriously disturbed by this. Like so many other girls, I grew up with a weight-fixated mother and that left me with disturbed body-notions. I was – of course – always thin, no matter the price. At the time anorexia / bulimia was not spoken about, but many girls had a “light” version of one or the other…remember Twiggy? So this problem is nothing new. What has happened is that it has become a bigger issue than just weight; now it’s about eternal youth. As someone said: “Youth is wasted on the young”; so true, youth is inherently beautiful but we don’t become aware of that until we are past “the prime”, as it were.
When I was in my 20’s it was all about weight, most people were thin and obesity was hardly known – in Europe at least. Over time, almost as a protest, people got fatter – and started showing it with skin-tight clothes. This would NEVER have happened in the 70’s or 80’s. And I like it, it’s giving the finger to the starved, sad “Twiggy-look”, taking back the right to owning your body. But then it got out of proportion and it has become unhealthy. So now girls are either starving or eating themselves to death! What is going on?
Then came the Eternal Youth-thing. We can all become eternally young – well parts of us; plastic surgery has become such a common practice that many people find it completely normal. I know old women who are “eternally young” in this way; they look very scary…wouldn’t want to run into them un-prepared in a dark room….but they probably looked fine to start with? I know old women who look like old women and they are beautiful and stylish, wearing their age as a trophy, refusing to succumb to the shame of age.
There is a new look – the “surgery-look”; The corner of the lips pulled up in a perpetual half-smile, the look of surprise in the lifted eyebrows, the forever perky bosom that will point straight to the sky even when lady is lying on her back. Also; the wrinkled necks, spotted old hands, the slightly skeletal look of the face….Still, it can be oh, so tempting sometimes. I watch myself age in the mirror, the bad fit between me on the inside and me on the outside. But then I look around at all the gorgeous, proud and amazing old women that one finds it so easy to respect, and I know that I want to be one of them. I had youth and beauty for a long time, and I was too stupid to enjoy it fully, but I did enjoy it, and now it is another time. I am a woman, not a girl, and my beauty lies today in who I am, in my pride. And I shine!
(The 2 first pictures in this post come from health-related ads, the next 2 were sent to me and the last one is mine)