Tag Archives: patience

BUTTERFLIES

I have, inadvertently, become a butterfly breeder. Outside my kitchen door grows a huge nasturtium where, a little less than a week ago, I saw some caterpillars and was delighted, I love butterflies 🙂 I invited more; “Welcome to breed here, chez moi!” They were quick to take me up on my offer and the next day the nasturtium was absolutely full of caterpillars. First they were just tiny babies and I have watched them eat and grow, it gives me great pleasure to watch nature do her thing. There is more nasturtium in the garden, but they live only on this one which is in the shade. Interestingly enough, there are these long-legged spiders that suddenly popped up as well…I do believe they feed on the poo from the caterpillars 🙂

Yesterday the first one migrated to the place for chrysalis, the time when they enter the pupa-stage. It climbed the outer wall of the house and in under the roof. Only that one. Today others follow and my facade is literally moving upwards, I have to be very careful not to step on any of them. They are amazing! I think they will become white butterflies and turn my beautiful garden into paradise. I have chosen not to check them out on internet or in literature, because I want to be surprised and learn by watching. But I did find this: The earliest known butterfly fossils date to the mid Eocene epoch, between 40–50 million years ago. (wikipedia)

It takes time to learn from nature. You need to slow down very much to see and understand what is right before your eyes. I am awed by the beauty and inspiration which is given me just by being in my garden and maybe this is where I acquire my greatest knowledge.

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JUST LIVING LIFE

My last child just left home. I have had children leave home for 10 yrs and have gotten sort of used to it. But each time before, there was still another child there…or a few. I knew, for many months, that this last one was leaving and I also looked forward to being just me, after 27 years of living a life that revolved around my children because, when they came, I wanted to be next to them until they left me and I wanted it more than anything else. I have used these many years wisely; learning craft and trade, patience and experience. Upon taking stock of those years I realize the staggering amount of knowledge I have accumulated and I wonder how it happened 🙂 I was just living life.

The last weeks before the Little One left, we spent much time together in conversation about all things between heaven and earth. She is as hungry for understanding as I remembered myself to be and kept pushing for answers, irritated by how complicated it was to get them.

“This is life”, I told her. “This, all of this. The answers to your questions; Life is the answer. The time, the frustrations, the understandings, all this is life and it takes a lifetime, no matter how short or long it may be. By living life we are answering our questions, life is what happens when we are living.” As I heard myself speak I felt a deep satisfaction over my life, about all I have done, learned and accomplished. And most of all I felt that deep sense of peace that I was looking for in my youth.

Experience and knowledge take time to collect and all phases in our lives contribute to who we become. From feeling impatient about the time everything took, I am now deeply grateful for that time so that now, when I enter a new phase of life, I have the tools and the knowledge to succeed in what I undertake. I am glad for all my years, for the overview it brings me and I am glad to see that every single thing that happened to me in life, good or bad, taught me something valuable. I was just living life.