The touchiest subject to let go of is personal trauma. It is as if this gives us the right and excuse, not only to suffer, but also to be pitied. Personal trauma is the most difficult thing to get past, especially when it occurs in childhood – such as abuse. At that point in time we are truly victims and helpless; there is absolutely nothing we can do about it and that is a devastating position to be in. But we do grow up and as we mature we are not helpless victims anymore, we can start changing things, we find that we have choices and the power to decide over ourselves. At this point we can either choose to stay in our trauma and accept a less full-filling life, always having somebody/something to blame, OR we can decide to take charge and get past the trauma and on with life, turning our experiences into something creative instead.
To start a process you need to realize there is a problem. Trust me, EVERYBODY hangs on to something and the first step is to find out what this is. Think about what recurring thoughts you have about stuff; “my mother didn’t love me”, “I am sick”, “It won’t work”, “I can’t do it”, “I need it”, “I deserve it”, “If not for …I would be fine”, “I don’t have”…. Sounds familiar? I thought so.
- Look at what areas in your life are not functioning, where you procrastinate, what you are afraid of.
- Break it down by asking WHY, for each answer ask why again.The why’s will take you through the different layers to the original problem or belief.
- Write it down.
- Pro & Con: How would your life change if you let go?
- Then look at HOW you can change it. Find somebody who can back you up.
As a starting exercise, try this: The next time you are in a hurry (read stressed) and get caught in a traffic-jam, let it go; Sit back, turn on some nice music, breath deeply and congratulate yourself on this little moment of peace. Letting go is not only an emotional or mental sensation, it is also physical; there is an actual feeling of warmth and unraveling in the pit of your stomach, a sensation of space around your being. We all know this feeling of release. Remember that time you did something scary? Like jumping off the 3 meter board into the water? That amazing sensation of release once you get past the fear and actually jump. This is how it feels, no matter what you are releasing, this instant moment of trust and freedom.
Every time we allow the fears from our past to stop us, we suffer pangs of regrets – always ending up thinking about how it would have been if we had “done it anyway”. Regrets are debilitating in energy, it never ever moves forward, but keeps us forever caught in the web of the past.
Remember: “The horse is dead, let it go!”
Posted in Lifestyle, Personal development, Stress, Uncategorized, Wellness
Tagged choices, creative, excuses, fear, future, life, past, pity, release, trauma, victim
Being present or being in the now, is something I have been working on for very long, and it is really not that easy. We think we are present most of the time, but we actually hardly ever are. As I already mentioned in another posting; we judge everything based on something we already know, keeping us in the past or in the future. The present is a constant moment – it has no time. Everything is fresh and new – a possibility of learning or enjoying or maybe even suffering – yes, suffering is also part of being. All emotions are a learning experience, and the now is constantly loaded with possibilities. Changes are now, learning is now, experiencing is now, tasting, touching, seeing, smelling is now. When we are in the past we feel regret and when we are in the future we feel fear. We are constantly searching for our future, looking here, looking there – and the future always seem to elude us since it never comes; Each future moment becomes the present, at which point we completely miss it since we are still searching for the future. In a way we are living like slaves to our emotions; constantly struggling to go forward without ever stopping to reap the rewards.
When my children were small they had their favorite movie which they would watch over and over again, days – even weeks – on end. Each time they watched this movie it was like they saw it for the first time. This is being in the present. I used to watch them, mesmerized by their intense joy over something – to me – “worn down”. I was always in the future; next meal, next day, next chore. I was so busy that I very seldom stopped only to exist. My children showed me how to do this. They were the reason I learned to stop, because the joy of watching them exist made me still. My children were always my greatest teachers.
The source of our creativity is stillness.
I am very good at handling horses, somehow I know inside what they are feeling, what they are about to do. I have never learned about horses and I am not a brilliant rider, but I do know how they tick. Why? When I was a child I had an enormous love for horses, and on the farm where we lived summers and holidays there were horses in a field. I used to spend my days there, watching them. I would bring a book and sandwiches and just watch. With time I started to move with the horses, being part of their flock and this is how I learned horses. I learned their “language” and I learned that every movement means something. I learned that horses exist only in the present and this is the key to good horsemanship – the present. Horses were always my teachers.
Everything in the Universe comes from within; every idea, creation, thought, knowledge. Each time I stay in the present I learn something valuable – priceless. The things I do, know and understand best were learned in these moments. I watch my surroundings while being in the present – this is how I learn. But I have to work on it all the time since I slide so easily into the future.
Posted in Lifestyle, Personal development
Tagged children, creation, future, horses, knowledge, learning, past, Personal development, present, stillness, universe