Tag Archives: love

Who was the guy in the bag?

I have had another response to the posts “Crying Soldier”  and “What are the odds” This time from a lady called Catherine;

She wrote me that the man in the body-bag, the friend of the crying soldier, was her husband, Spec. Andy Alaniz. They were young, in love, newly married and pregnant when he was killed. Andy never got to see his daughter. As Catherine wrote to me: “As long as people are talking about my husband, he won’t just be the man in the body bag and he won’t be forgotten. Because at our house, he was my friend, my lover and my husband. He is the daddy to our little girl that he never got to see grow up. I don’t want him to be hidden in a bag. He was much more than that!”

4 years after her husband was killed by “friendly fire” (doesn’t anybody react to the bizarreness of this?) Catherine’s father was killed in the Oklahoma bombing. She is truly a widow/orphan of the violence that is all around in the world and she has graciously allowed me to share her story. You can read it on her blog ATA GIRLS.

I am touched that Catherine chose to write to me and share her story. Also I am amazed, as usual, by how the internet can connect people in this random way.

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CENTERED IN THE SELF

One of the most important things for balance in life is to be centered in the Self and this is not always an easy thing. From early  age we are conditioned to put others before ourselves and when we don’t we are called egoists. This has created tremendous amounts of guilt in most of us and guilt moves into anger and fear. The egoist approach awakens when we are not centered in our Self, when we constantly fear that we will not get what we need, then we will override both our Self and others to make sure that we are safe – or seen.

So what is being centered in the Self, and how do we stay centered? First of all it’s about self-respect and self-love; listening to our inner voice and the signals we send ourselves, not overriding our own will in favor of others. When we are aligned with ourselves, we will automatically align with those around us and all needs will be filled.

Centered in the Self is abut that; centered. In each and every situation we need to feel if this is right for us. Sometimes our reactions come from conditioning and they are recognizable by the accompanying feeling of guilt or grudge. Feelings move and are received on a subconscious level. We have all received something (be it thing or action) that was accompanied by guilt or grudge and we knew it. It made us feel uncomfortable and guilty, so the exchange became an exchange of guilt instead of something positive. Each time we do something from guilt or fear, the feelings transport themselves in the action, creating even more negative space.

When centered in the Self, we give with love and joy, transporting a sense of positivity, making us and the receiver feel good. When we are centered we give love and respect to others because this is what we carry within; We can never give that what we don’t have. Being centered means that we open up space around us which helps us to not get overwhelmed and exhausted. This same space automatically opens up to others as well. The conditioning of negative egoism makes us deny ourselves in favor of others, this means that others need to deny themselves in favor of us – or we would all be in a bad place. What is going on here is a complete denial of self-responsibility, leaving us depleted, helpless and scared.

Being centered in the Self is self-empowerment; from this place we are able and capable to do wonders – both to ourselves and those around us without being depleted or depleting others. Remember; “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat forever.” Now, this guy might not thank you, because he wanted the momentary fish to eat. But when he finds the self-empowerment of not being in need, he will be happy….and he’ll teach somebody else to fish.

It is not easy to step out of the vicious circle of guilt and fear, so deeply is it conditioned. The conditioning says that not catering to the needs of others is unloving, this is not true. Sometimes the greatest act of love is a kick in the behind.

VALENTINE

My grandfathers name was Valentine. My father in law died on Valentines day, I found it sort of beautiful; he was so ill – and old – that his passing actually became an act of love. My mother in law said it was because he hated the whole thing, and she was probably right, but I stick to my romantic notions because they are prettier…

Love is in the air and so is despair. Around Valentines day my heart goes out to all lonely, abandoned and heartbroken people. It is like the whole world is enhancing the loveless-ness, much like Christmas. Therefor I am, today, creating blends to heal broken hearts and cover the wound of loneliness as well as blends to enhance love, affection, and lust.

The oils that are most associated with love are:

  • Rose (rosa centifolia, r.damascena) Opens the heart for love
  • Jasmine (jasminum officinalis) The enigmatic scent of sensuality
  • Sandalwood (santalum album) Stillness and unity, balsamic.
  • Bergamot (citrus bergamia) Relaxes, releases and refreshes, joy to the heart
  • Patchouli (pogostemon cablin) earthing and arousing. Playfulness
  • Ginger (zingiber officinalis) warming and invigorating
  • Ylang-ylang (cananga odorata var. genuina) Joy and sensuality, liberation
  • Black pepper (piper nigrum) Fire and power. Energy

There are plenty of oils that fit in there as well, but these are the most popular and best known. Use your imagination and have some fun.

The oils that will help a broken heart and/or loneliness:

  • Marjoram (origanum majorana) Warmth and safety in loneliness
  • Cypres (cupressus sempervirens) Opens and guides for new directions, change.
  • Frankincense (boswellia carterii) Spirituality, protection, warmth. Breath of life.
  • Lavender (lavandula augustifolia) restoring, calming, eases the mind,
  • Cedarwood (cedrus atlantica) stabilizes and opens the mind to a larger picture
  • Rosewood (aniba rosaeodora) protective warmth like that of a mother
  • Hyssop (hyssopus officinalis) opens the chest and breath, liberation
  • Myrrh (commiphora molmol/c. myrrah) tranquillity, solitude, peace
  • Benzoin (styrax benzoin) soothing and stabilizing. Enveloping sanctuary.
  • Clary sage (salvia sclarea) Relaxing, expansion, warmth

Use oil-blends in the bath before meeting with your lover – or your self. 10-15 drops of essential oil in 15-20ml of unperfumed soap or cream. Add the oil-blend right before you get in, and swish it around with your hand.

  • Sensual: Ylang-ylang 4 dr + Ginger 3 dr + Sandalwood 5 dr + Patchouli 3 dr.
  • Uplifting: Bergamott 4 dr + Black pepper 4 dr + Ylang-ylang 3 dr
  • Invigorating: Ginger 3 dr + Black pepper 3 dr + Patchouli 2 dr + Bergamott 4 dr
  • Love: Rose 2 dr + Sandalwood 4 dr + Patchouli 3 dr
  • Passion: Sandalwood 4 dr + Jasmine 2 dr + Ginger 3 dr

Use the same blends of essential oils in 5-10 ml veg. oil blend, preferably Jojoba-oil, for a sensual perfume to wear during the evening. You can also use these blends to scent your room; either put them in an aroma-burner / fan (3-7 dr depending on the size and ventilation of the room) or blend them in distilled water; 5-10 dr/ 100 ml. Shake well before use and don’t spray directly on surfaces.

Citrus-oils and rosemary can be used in any blend as an enhancer or pick-me-up. Many of the oils used for love are also used for loneliness. Have fun with the oils and don’t be afraid to experiment. Remember to always start with a lower amount of drops, this way you can smell if the scent is balanced and you have a chance to change your blend as you go along.

  • Loneliness: Marjoram 3 dr + Myrrh 3 dr + Orange 5 dr + Lavender 4 dr
  • Sadness: Lavender 4 dr + Frankincense 3 dr + Hyssop 4 dr + Clary sage 2 dr
  • Despair: Benzoin 3 dr + Rosewood 4 dr + Cedarwood 4 dr + Myrhh 3 dr
  • Changes: Cypres 4 dr + Rosewood 4 dr + Clary sage 3 dr
  • Love: Rose 2 dr + Marjoram 3 dr + Rosewood 4 dr + Myrrh 3 dr

Note: The oils of Rose and Jasmine are very expensive but the scent is strong so they go a long way. In true perfumery musky and deep earth-notes are used in perfumes, such as spike-nard, valerian and oud. They enhance the more flowery smells and act as fixatives. A blend should become one distinguished perfume, not a collection of scents. If you want your perfume-oil to deepen in scent, you should blend it beforehand and let it “mature”. You will notice the scent changing and deepening over time.

CREATIVE FORCES

pillars of creationHow do we create our lives / world? And with what motive or emotion? Do we create from fear or lust?

There is great talk and worry around the idea of 21 Dec 2012…according to the Mayan calendar. A lot of people believe this to be Armageddon (again) and that Earth will be wiped out, including, of course, humanity. If you take a look at the Mayan calendar system it clearly shows a cyclic belief; when something ends, something else begins. Maybe their belief is that this just starts all over, OR that this is the time for the next calendar revision since a new time is coming?

mayancalanderinsidepicture1

The Mayans aren’t the only culture speaking of 2012 as a special year, also Nostradamus speculated about this particular year.  “The book of revelation” in the Bible is dusted off to present another view of these tidings: All what we know will fall apart, creating turmoil and suffering – only to be followed by a new dawning of consciousness, bringing Love and Truth.

So back to my original question: I believe thoughts are creative, that thoughts are vibrational and attractive in nature. Thoughts are movement and movement is creation. So with what kind of thought-patterns do we create our lives?

solar_storm

Most of us are programmed to fear; poverty, hunger, death, disease, pain, heart-ache, failure…on and on. From this basic programming we create our lives…to survive but nothing else. This is why we as humanity are falling apart, destroying our world and each-other. The biggest and most powerful of all creations from fear is money and the banking system…isn’t it interesting that is seems to be falling apart…  The biggest fear to mankind is to not have enough. Well, there is enough, plenty enough for everybody.

I believe this is the time of Creative Change; The beginning of a new belief-system, the heightening of awareness. It is time to create the world from lust instead of fear. Fear is believing the world is going under in 2012, Lust is believing in a world-change in 2012. This said, people might still die, there might be pestilence and raging storms…I don’t know. But if there are, they will be the result of creating from fear. Something always has to go to make place for the new – Death and Birth.

A Constant Cycle of Creation

creation