Tag Archives: crisis

Am I unlucky or am I lucky?

Three days ago, in the late evening, I went to the airport via winding, dark mountain-roads to get my daughter. The drive is about 100km one-way. The very next day I took my car to go see a friend and got as far as the next village when my car hit a pothole and started screeching and scraping. I pulled over to the side, called the automobile club and my garage (owned by one of my darling Bosnian boys). One hour later the car was en route to the garage and my friend came to pick me up and take me home.

So far, so good. Today I called with my friend, the garage-owner, who told me the car is finished – for good; the engine had loosened and was about to fall out. So here I am; no car and not enough money for a new car. Bohoo, right? I am so unlucky! Poor me, what do I do now…? I asked my friend to help me find a car that I could afford, even if it is a crappy one held together with string and chewing-gum. He knows my situation and I trust him blindly. “Give me a couple of weeks” he said “I will see what I can do”.

Another view: The car could have broken down on the mountain-road and we would probably have died, me and my daughter…It didn’t, it waited until I was going slowly through a village in daytime. The very next day I was about to buy 4 new tyres for the car and since that is not going to happen I now have that money.  A friend of mine has an old car that he loaned me indefinitely, so I do have wheels, which is absolutely necessary. I am so happy and grateful!

So far, so good. A little while ago my friend from the garage called me to say he has found a car for me. He will give me a very good price for my dead car (she has some good bits and pieces in her) plus I have the money for the tyres and when I check my budget, this is do-able. The “new” car is nice, well-equipped, has no points from the technical controle…actually it is worth a lot more than the asking price…

I am so lucky!

Moral? What looked like a catastrophe at a bad time turned into a blessing. And we are still alive, my child and me. Everything gets sorted effortlessly and I am, again, the receiver of a miracle. IF I would have seen this only from a negative point of view, it would have gone from bad to worse and I would have been in a crisis now. You have to believe that miracles happen and trust them, only then can they happen...And they do – Every time!

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THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL; the madness of change

When profound changes occur in life, there is a crisis which creates inner madness. Most people who come to me are in the process of change and to most of them it is as if the rug was pulled out from under their feet. We all go about our lives believing that we know what tomorrow will bring, thinking we know ourselves and we form habits and patterns to ensure us of this safety. For some people the change comes in the disguise of illness, loosing a job, death or birth. For others it is something that creeps up over time; a sense of discontent or un-fulfillment. Whatever the reason, madness occurs. Not the kind where we lose control and run screaming through the streets, though we might like to, but a silent, inner confusion where we feel that we are traveling in unknown territory without a map.

A lot of people get scared and think they are “loosing it”; they’re not. Change is profound and for this to occur all our old habits and patterns are shattered to make place for the new Self. This is the dark night of the soul (The great mystics called the dark night of the soul a gift of grace), a moment of inner death. Once you pass through this madness you can reconstruct yourself on personal and spiritual values, finding clarity within. Life-changes may be dramatic but they are necessary for personal evolution, to find the true calling in life.

The same thing happens to anybody who trains for a therapeutic profession; every student I ever trained went through this process and they had to change their lives in some manner to fit with the truths they found within. When I did my own training my whole Self was ripped to pieces and I felt confused, scared and lost (the dark night of my soul). Over time, with guidance, I found my path in life and little by little I reconstructed myself from within – as opposed to being a product of my environment.

This process will happen as sure as night follows day. Every person who works with the development of others; therapists, coaches or teachers, need to be aware of this and have some kind of plan how to help people through it. If you don’t have the knowledge yourself, make sure that you have back-up from other professionals to whom you can refer.