Tag Archives: change

Lady Magpie

Pica Pica, Ms Magpie showing off

Pica Pica, Miss Magpie showing off

LADY MAGPIE

Lady Magpie was once Miss Magpie; she wore a dress too advanced for her young years, turning the heads of all around her. Though she never understood why, she seemed always to be in trouble with the advanced ladies of her tribe. They called her a harlot, an outsider and a tramp dressed up in fineries she did not deserve.
Miss Magpie had a heart of gold and she was badly hurt by these accusations made – though never to her face, so she could never defend herself – she just did not understand… In silence she carried the pain of exclusion from the group she so coveted to be a part of. She was a shy little soul and would seldom raise her voice to be heard.  When all the other magpies teased and laughed in unison, she was silent, she hardly knew the sound of her own voice.
What Miss Magpie failed to understand was the fact that she, both in looks and conversation, gave the impression of a worldly woman, albeit young, and society made no discrimination; if you talk the talk and do the walk, then you are it. Nobody bothered to look deeper at the lost little girl who happened to be gifted with both the beauty of youth and the plumes of her elders.

Miss Magpie, though having a heart of gold, was not slow to pick up on the advantages bestowed on her by others, even though she did not understand. She learned quickly to move effortlessly through the salons of low as well as high, being rewarded with the momentary love of many, the lasting love of none, all the while keeping her tender heart locked into a gilded cage of dreams, just waiting for the right moment to burst through in all its passion. She was patient. She bore tears, hurt, heartache, humiliation and pain with aloofness and cool. Her peers started fearing her, hating her and admiring her; who was this young girl who would not bend her neck or fall to her knees in tears? Why would she not be broken?

Pica Pica turning into Mrs Magpie

Pica Pica turning into Mrs Magpie

The years went by and Miss Magpie’s feathers started getting a bit frazzled at the edges. She found herself a nice Mr Magpie who made her a decent woman and took her far away where she was not known. Mr Magpie was a kind man but ignorant of the movings of the world. He dried her silent tears and stood patiently, though confused, at her side when he didn’t recognize her. They had children, little beautiful magpies, that they brought up in perfect harmony; she breaking her gilded cage that held her heart, and he, protecting them all.
The little magpies, not knowing the luck and joy they had encountered, thrived and grew to finally leave their home to search for their future and make their fortunes.

Mrs Magpie, having known the security of being an honorable individual suddenly felt lost, her close loving connection with Mr Magpie flowing away as the little ones left the nest, leaving her as confused as in her earlier years. But she had grown strong under the care and love of Mr Magpie and their little ones. She was no longer a fool.
She decided to leave, she had to leave. She had to know who she was – on her own. She had to know if she could fly. Gathering her feathers around her, she flew off into the future, her future, to see if it was even there. Not knowing if she would die trying, she had to try…She had to see if her wings would bear the weight of who she was. After much turmoil she found another land where she had to be silent because there was nobody to understand what she sang. In silence she turned into Lady Magpie, the exotic creature from another world, in silence she accepted the first tributes of her existence.

Lady Magpie, at last, singing her song

Lady Magpie, at last, singing her song

She could hardly believe it was true, after half a lifetime she suddenly mattered, still she stayed silent, hardly breathing. She went about her business and tended to her gardens and to whoever walked through her door, her heart soaring high above her in a new-found freedom. She was forgotten and she was remembered, but it didn’t matter, because none of it was real, and for the first time she became true to herself. One early morning she stepped into her garden, opened her soul and sang…Her song. She is Lady Magpie and she is true.

(It was hard to find credits for these beautiful pics, but I hope and wish that you amazing photographers out there realize the why and how I used your soulful pics of these beautiful birds <3)

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A NEW HEALTHY LIFESTYLE – NUTRITION

Just because we have a certain age in years, doesn’t necessary mean that we have the same age physically. Some people can carry 10-20 years more in their bodies than their actual age. It depends on a lot of factors; nutrition, habits, sleep, stress-levels, exercise and thought-patterns. I think this is not understood by most people and that if we knew, we would pay so much more attention to our health and well-being. This age-pattern can be tested and analyzed when necessary, showing black-on-white how body is doing inside.

We are not always very careful about our physical health and sometimes it’s shocking to see what people do to themselves; Obesity and stress are 2 major factors in accelerated body-age and both these groups are growing fast. In these days of pollution (all kinds – including “bad” foods) we need to inform ourselves how to live healthy and take necessary measures. It will not happen by itself, every person is responsible for his/her health and needs to do the job. It is never easy to change lifestyle, especially when food has become your drug, but it can be done and within a week you will feel the benefits; more energy, stronger, healthier and happier.

You might think; “Nah, I don’t have time, money, energy….(fill in the blank) to do this”. Trust me, the day your health is endangered by your bad life-style and you are facing disease or worse you will find that you are prepared to do almost anything to reverse your condition – no matter the cost, time and energy. Better then to do it straight away and save yourself the anguish which disease brings – especially when you brought it on yourself!

  • Nutrition: Basically the most important factor. Food can act as a catalyst to our health or it can become a drug that pollutes the body. It’s all about choices. I have come to realize that not everyone is aware of what they are putting into their bodies so learning and understanding is needed. I have found that the best way to understanding is doing. Start with an elimination diet for one month to clear and heal your body. From there you can, little by little, re-introduce different foodstuffs and really feel what they do to you. Allergies or over sensitivity to foods are not always obvious and you might find you are sensitive to certain things once your system is cleared and you can feel what happens in your body; bloating, gas, pain, indigestion. You can download an excellent, free, elimination program here that I have used both for myself and clients with great results. Use it for a month and see what happens. It might be a good idea to keep a diary so you can stay aware of the changes and reactions. The Elimination Diet program also tells you how to prepare yourself. Eating healthy is not more expensive than eating unhealthy – on the contrary; you will find yourself saving a lot of money when you change your eating-habits. You will also, more or less automatically, lose weight and then you can use that money to buy funky clothing for your new and beautiful body 🙂
  • Abuse: (or addiction) This can be anything from certain foods, sugars, coffee, alcohol, fats, tobacco, aspirin (yes, aspirin) and drugs. This all needs to go. Once you start your elimination diet you will, after an initial withdrawal reaction, feel less and less need for the stuff. Addictive behavior is always emotional and the more you have “screwed up” your system, the more you feel the need of your “drug”. The body – and mind – goes out of whack.
  • Withdrawal: I address this because I have found that many people give up because of withdrawal symptoms, often believing something is wrong. You will have to go cold turkey if your lifestyle has been bad. Every addiction creates a huge imbalance in the body, keeping it craving for more. Withdrawal symptoms can be head-aches, nervousness, irritability, emotional yo-yo, and even aches and pains. They usually last around 3 days, by then the body has (under the right circumstances) cleared itself and you should start feeling very good. The natural high you get from a healthy body is amazing! This might be a good time to go for massage or sauna which will help the detox move faster and more efficiently.
  • Water: Water is life and makes up ca 70% of our bodies. Water is the most important nutrient to our bodies and is involved in every bodily function. We need to drink between 1.5 – 3 liters/day.  Don’t drink massive amounts in one go, drink steadily through the day. During the detox stage this is most important since your body will start getting rid of toxins and the water helps flush them out. Think of it as an internal shower. Most people today are dehydrated and with bad eating habits this gets even worse: Sugar, for example, is extremely dehydrating, so each time you drink a soda you are actually dehydrating your body instead of hydrating it! If you want to know more about what water does in your body read this article. (I highly recommend you to read it.) Get a filtration system and use it for your tap-water. Not only will it save money but it is also sustainable; no more PET-bottles littering the globe! Tap-water goes through more control processes than any bottled water (which sometimes is just….tap water in a PET-bottle)
  • Stress: Stress puts an enormous pressure on our body-systems. Not only does it overload but it also increases fat-deposits in the body. When you are stressed, the digestive system closes down and stops working properly which means that instead of using fat for fuel, the body starts breaking down and using muscle tissue. So along with getting fatter, you get weaker as well.
  • Fat-cells: We have a given number of fat-cells in our bodies and they stay constant, so when there is weight-gain the cells actually get larger while the overall number stays the same. The fat-cells are an important part of our health and liposuction is not an option for weight-loss. Liposuction is a huge attack on our metabolism and can be very dangerous. We need all our fat-cells – and we want them lean and mean…
  • Accountability: This is IMPORTANT! Find somebody you trust that you are accountable to, a little like a coach. Tell this person about your plans to clean up your diet and ask them to back you up. It can also be a therapist or a coach. Write a contract with this person, keep a diary, connect with this person on a regular basis and be honest about what you are doing (also when you fall off the wagon) and how you are doing. When you feel yourself flagging, reconnect with your “coach” to get back on track. Another option is to go through this program with other people, staying accountable to each-other.
  • Habits: Habits are hard to break and when you start a dietary program you are always facing your habitual every-day-life. You need to make changes. If you have a family they will also have to change (clean up) their nutrition. Don’t fall for the habits; pizza and beer with the friends, Friday cosiness with the family. You can do all what you used to do, you just need to tweak it; have a salad instead of pizza, have water instead of alcohol. Exchange the crisps and candy for nuts and fruits – there are always options. And if you feel you really can’t handle it, then don’t go there until you feel strong enough.
  • Falling off the wagon: This is a biggie. We all fall off the wagon every once in a while and this does not mean that we have failed. Brush yourself off and get back on that wagon! Apologize to yourself, forgive yourself and get back on track. This does not need to be a major set-back. Talk to your “coach” and try to figure out how and why it happened. Once you understand that, you can refrain from falling into the trap again.
  • Alcohol: Not only is alcohol toxic to your system, it is also a mental trap: Even one little glass of wine or a small beer will set you in a different mind-set; the “I can handle it” mind-set. This is when you screw up big time. There is a reason why ex-drug-addicts don’t drink alcohol; not because alcohol as such is a drug to them, but because it increases (actually maximizes) the risk of falling back into old patterns. So: NO ALCOHOL, not even the tiniest sip of champagne at a wedding…
  • Planning: To make it easier on yourself and diminish the stress of changing your lifestyle you need to plan ahead. Make schedules one week at a time: Plan every meal for the week and put the schedule on the fridge. Make sure you have everything you need at home so you don’t run out. Unscheduled visits to the grocery store (especially when hungry) is the worst trap ever. You will end up buying stuff you should not eat. If you are clever you can prepare meals ahead of time to simplify your life, then you can also plan ahead for days when you know you will have less time. Plan your lunches and snacks that you bring to work and prepare them the day before. Make it as simple as possible.

In the next post I will talk about exercise and show you how you can easily incorporate it into your daily life without taking a lot of extra time or paying a fortune at the gym.

THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL; the madness of change

When profound changes occur in life, there is a crisis which creates inner madness. Most people who come to me are in the process of change and to most of them it is as if the rug was pulled out from under their feet. We all go about our lives believing that we know what tomorrow will bring, thinking we know ourselves and we form habits and patterns to ensure us of this safety. For some people the change comes in the disguise of illness, loosing a job, death or birth. For others it is something that creeps up over time; a sense of discontent or un-fulfillment. Whatever the reason, madness occurs. Not the kind where we lose control and run screaming through the streets, though we might like to, but a silent, inner confusion where we feel that we are traveling in unknown territory without a map.

A lot of people get scared and think they are “loosing it”; they’re not. Change is profound and for this to occur all our old habits and patterns are shattered to make place for the new Self. This is the dark night of the soul (The great mystics called the dark night of the soul a gift of grace), a moment of inner death. Once you pass through this madness you can reconstruct yourself on personal and spiritual values, finding clarity within. Life-changes may be dramatic but they are necessary for personal evolution, to find the true calling in life.

The same thing happens to anybody who trains for a therapeutic profession; every student I ever trained went through this process and they had to change their lives in some manner to fit with the truths they found within. When I did my own training my whole Self was ripped to pieces and I felt confused, scared and lost (the dark night of my soul). Over time, with guidance, I found my path in life and little by little I reconstructed myself from within – as opposed to being a product of my environment.

This process will happen as sure as night follows day. Every person who works with the development of others; therapists, coaches or teachers, need to be aware of this and have some kind of plan how to help people through it. If you don’t have the knowledge yourself, make sure that you have back-up from other professionals to whom you can refer.

CYPRESS

For the past week or so this oil has been popping up so now you will have its profile:

Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens) is a tall evergreen tree with slender branches and a conical shape. It carries small flowers and round cones or nuts. It has a long history of medicinal use and is native to the eastern mediterranean area where it grows wild. Most cultivation is done in France, Spain and Morocco. It has given its name to the island of Cyprus.

The name sempervirens means ever green – eternal life – and the tree is often planted in cemeteries. The Egyptians and Romans dedicated the tree to the gods of death and afterlife as it was believed to help the transition of the soul, and coffins were manufactured from the wood. Legend has it that the cross of Christ was made of cypress.

Medicinally it was used by ancient civilizations as a purifying incense, and still is in Tibet. It was known to benefit the urinary system, being warming and drying in nature. The Chinese use the nuts as a nutritious food to help the liver.

The essential oil comes from distilling the needles and twigs. The scent is smoky, green, woody and balsamic.

Uses:

  • Skin: Oily skin and hair. Bleeding gums. Excessive perspiration.
  • Circulation: It is decongestant and astringent and can help with cellulite, varicose veins and hemorrhoids. Use it for oedema (water-retention) and poor circulation.
  • Muscles: Cramps, rheumatism, arthritis. Can help bring down swelling.
  • Respiratory: Coughs and bronchitis.
  • Helpful for menopausal problems. (Transition)
  • Nervous system: Weakness, irritation, stress, anxiety and nervous tension.
  • Emotional: As a help in transitions; It gives us stability to handle death, loss, change and separation. The deeply stabilizing emotional properties of cypress can be of help when there is insecurity and fear.

Experience: When I have gone through big changes in life I have had much use of this oil to keep me “on track”. Changes always involve fear and/or insecurities which can become debilitating unless addressed. It has helped me to stay focused and calm when I feel that I am in the middle of turbulence. The warming nature of the oil gives a feeling of safety and the stimulating properties help me to go forward.

SELF DEFINITION

I have listened to so many kids who say they don’t like who they are. They come from all walks of life; some have wonderful home-lives, others come from a hellish existence, still they all feel the same – it’s part of becoming who you are, part of growing up. As I said before, you can’t tell somebody what they have to do or be, they have to figure it out for themselves. How is this done? How do we know what we want to do or be in life? An adolescent lives more or less day to day, making life seem eternal and confusing. If they are in a “bad place”, how are they going to get out of it if they have no sense of future?

I listen to them; to their complaints, their tears, heart-ache, confusion and disappointment until I have a feeling of where their problems come from. Then I tune them into themselves:

  • Who are you?
  • What do you want?
  • Why do you want it?
  • How will you get it?

At this point they are usually angry or crying from confusion. Then I speak to them about Self-Definition, that we all make choices. Each individual is responsible for who they are. This will always form the base of what you receive in life, no matter where you come from. You can be nice and have nice things happen to you, or you can be nasty and have bad things happen. It is always about choices.

I hold up a mirror for the kid; showing him exactly who he is, right now, and he usually doesn’t like it. Then I ask him to think about who he wants to be. I make him aware of all the choices he has. I ask him to tell me what kind of person he wants to be and then we work with this picture, making it so real that the kid can feel it. This is the new mirror – the motivation to change – and the kid always likes this. We are emotional beings and emotion rules our choices much more than we believe.

Once this process is started it can’t be stopped, the kid will now think consciously about his actions. It doesn’t happen overnight, changes take time. Little by little the kid becomes comfortable with his new self-definition and works actively to become what he wants to be. This needs work and their are plenty of ways to do the work, it all depends on the individual. There is no need for recriminations, punishment or anger. Kids judge themselves harshly, in secret. If you add to that burden, they spiral into negativity. If you help them to define themselves and realize that they do have the power to choose and make changes, they usually will.

This, by the way, also goes for adults. Every now and then it is good to take stock of who you are and check if it fits with who you want to be.

SELF-HELP

There is a saying; “don’t give them fish, teach them how to fish”.

Many people who  come to see me want a “quick fix”, hoping that I will wave my magic wand and all that is difficult will just vanish. It doesn’t function like this. We have become so used to the quick fixes of medicine and drugs, that we have become unaware of how we live and influence our lives. When there is imbalance, be it physical, emotional or whatever, something needs to be changed and a quick fix only postpones this moment of change.

Often people are shocked by what they need to do to change a negative situation; nutritional habits, sleeping habits, medication, drugs, thought-patterns…. and they get upset by this. Well, we often sit in our imbalanced situations because we allowed ourselves to get there through bad habits and/or choices. We are all responsible for our lives and we are the only ones who can change anything. And no, it’s not easy – but who ever said it would be? If we really want something badly enough, we go for it – no matter the cost or work it entails. This is how we should live our lives.

Some people call me a life-saver, thanking me for saving their lives, others say that I do nothing for them. To both groups I say the same: “I am only a tool, albeit a very good one, but you are the one doing the work and using me as a tool. Results or no, it’s all up to you”. And the people who do the work and stick with it always, ALWAYS, reach their goals. Sometimes we fall down, or off the wagon, but that is also learning, look for the mechanics; why did it happen? then get up, brush yourself off and get on with it. Nothing is ever lost because of small “mis-takes” on the way, but they can be valuable lessons and keys to success.

Everybody can do it


CHANGING THE WORLD

Just a quickie to share this nice little video with you.

Being a pioneer or just believing strongly enough in something to go for it takes courage. There is no safety of already-trodden paths, answers to dilemmas or even security of existing. People around you might sneer and snicker. But if you really believe in something, you don’t give up when there is adversity….rather, adversity makes you even stronger.

This is how the world was changed; some of all these pioneers saw rewards in their life-time, lucky them. Others didn’t. One thing stays true; they never gave up on their dreams or beliefs.