Tag Archives: belief

55 – The age of Freedom

I am 55 years old and I feel like my life just started.

When I was a child and a young girl I had such dreams but I was also extremely shy and insecure, so the dreams stayed just that – dreams, my fears were very effective. The few times I voiced my dreams, I was told to forget it. “That’s ridiculous”, they said, “You can never do that. What if you fail?” Does this sound familiar? Fear of failure became the name of the game. And I was scared.

I grew up and had children, 4 of them, and became a full time mother for the next 30 years. I used the time wisely by educating myself and getting to know ME. It forced me to face my fears, to acknowledge that I had taken the easy way out by listening to the negative voices in and around me INSTEAD of just going for that dream, even if I would fail.

One day the children were all adult and had left home, I had only myself to answer to and I realised that now, NOW is the time, this is my chance to dust off those dreams and make them come true!

The world around me says that I am too old, but this time I am not believing anybody but myself. I’m old enough to not care. The only voice I am listening to is MY inner voice. And she tells me it’s time to rock’n roll!

One of my most attractive dreams as a child was to be part of a circus. I wanted to ride ponies and do funky stuff.

Well, guess what? Now I am doing just that; I am part of a troupe that do pony-shows and fire-shows. I do mounted archery; shooting arrows from a galloping horse. If you can’t join a circus – create one!

I also want to do acrobatics in the air, I feel passionate about it. And though I am fit as a fiddle it is far from enough. Besides which, I have a fear of heights. Am I going to let this stop me? HELL NO! Aerial acrobatics? Sure it will take time, who cares? I have all the time in the world and I am on this exciting life journey.

The most important thing I did to this point was bringing up the children. Was I a good mother? I have no idea, but I was the best mother I could be and this goes for everything else I have ever done and will do. This releases me from those oh so painful regrets that I struggled with all the time, I was the master of regret.

So to all you people, young and old; life is an ongoing journey and you never really know where it will take you. Don’t let anybody dictate your rules. And don’t for a minute believe that age is an issue: On the contrary, the older you get, the more freedom and choices you have.

Here some pictures of what I did this magical 55th year of my life

The difference between letting go and running away

The one thing I learned in my turbulent life was to let go – of everything. I was moved between countries, between homes, between schools and every time all was lost; not only friends and places but also things. My magic boxes full of little insignificant treasures, my clothes, my toys. The first time I was displaced I also lost the person I loved the most, she who was peace and security to me, I never saw her again. I was just about to turn seven.

That was the first time I was displaced; I found myself in a new country without any of my belongings except a teddy-bear and a school-book. I struggled to understand, to fit in, to learn the language, to not be afraid. I locked myself in a shell and lived in a fantasy-world in my head. I was beaten, mocked and un-loved, waiting for the day when I could go “home”, to a place that didn’t exist anymore. A place which it would take another 35 years before I saw again.

The same scenario happened over and over again, albeit in the same country. I went to 14 different schools and never graduated. I collected new treasures and every time there was a move, an upheaval, the treasures were lost. Finally this became my reality. I stopped having treasure-boxes.

I learned to trust nobody, I learned to not get attached, I learned to live in my head and I learned to be safe in insecurity. It formed me and how I would live my life. I watched but didn’t join in.

When, as an adult woman with children, I finally settled down into a safe place I was happy. I thought I was settled – for real. But then the upheaval came again and I left for another country, another life. I couldn’t stay. In my new country I spent years waiting, unknowingly, for the day of yet another departure, because that was all I knew. Keep going, leaving, letting go. I am an expert at letting go.

One day I realised that I didn’t want to do it again. I didn’t want to be a displaced person. I wanted to form attachments, I wanted to watch the future unfold around me, in one place. I just wanted peace. I wanted to build something that was mine, create a small niche in the universe where I co-existed.

I made a decision to stay and form that future right where I am. It was scary, it still is. I am not sure how long it will take before I find peace in my decision, but it has to be done.

There is a lot of talk about the importance of letting go, and it is important to know how to let go. But it is also important to learn to stop and be part. To accept and take responsibility for that. Because if you are an expert let-go’er, you never catch up with yourself. You end up living your life on the bylines, watching life rather than living it, never fighting for anything because it’s easier to walk away. Peace comes from within and no matter where you are, it is there.

I might be displaced again in the future, but today it is no longer part of my plan. I am thawing inside, unlocking my heart to let life in. I am still expert at letting go, but now I do allow and  fight for that which is important to me. I am starting a new magic box of treasures. Almost 50 years have passed since that first little death of trust and I am re-structuring my soul, having dreams, taking part and being there.cropped-hagen.jpg

What are you prepared to give up for life?

Mother Earth is suffering, worse, she’s seriously sick, and she needs help NOW. Right this minute and every minute after that for as long as you can imagine. This is reality. Mother Earth is our life-support and when she suffers, we suffer. She is ill and so are we. The question is; what are you prepared to do, or give up, to save her…And yourself?

It is daunting, isn’t it? Multinational corporations that can’t be touched, using up, polluting and destroying our world. We feel very small in their shadow. We rave and we rant, looking for “clean” solutions, which is good but only goes so far. We live in a world where we take the results of this destruction for granted; electricity, fuel for our cars, foods from everywhere in our corner-shop, new machines, technology…Most everything that we use and feel we need – Every day! What are you prepared to give up? Will you exchange your car for a cleaner alternative, or maybe start commuting? Will you stop buying stuff? Will you turn off your electricity even though it is not a question of economy? Will you keep your old telly, computer, stereo, phone that still works fine and forego the fancy new model? Will you start repairing your old clothes instead of buying new? Everything is limited and everything has a cost. There is no such thing as unlimited resources.

Earth Hour; one hour per year people turn of their electricity to make a stand for Mother Earth; that’s one hour out of 8 760 hours in a year. Why am I not impressed? A lot of people won’t even do this one hour, I have heard some of the comments; “what should I do for one hour without my machines…?” And during this one hour, closed stores are still lit up like Christmas trees so we can look through the window and drool over all the stuff we think that we need or want.

People; if you want change, you will have to be the change. We are all consumers and as such we hold tremendous power. The multinational corporations might seem daunting and we stand before them as Don Quixote before the windmills. But we are the world! Every little person put together become the ruler, but only if we are prepared to put it into action. So again; What are you prepared to give up for life?

The rhino, the unicorn and belief

I found this picture on FB and just love it…So much that I have to create a post around it. Hmmm, let’s see…

At first look it’s funny (mental belief); a heavy rhino turning into a sleek unicorn? Dream on! Then it becomes touching (emotional belief); rhino is so cute to even imagine the possibility. Next thought is of courage (daring belief); rhino doesn’t give up, he looks at the picture of the unicorn, wanting it so much. The next level is power (limitless belief); rhino has the power to dream the “impossible” dream.
Looking at the picture I realized that this is what we think about most every dream we have. At first we have an idea of what we want, then we travel through all layers of beliefs; mental, emotional, daring, trusting and limitless.
To your eyes the rhino might never look like a unicorn, but in his own eyes he will, if he truly believes he can. That’s all it takes; belief and the courage to stay with it. The motivation needed is to truly want it and then to figure out why we want it.
I am so totally a happy unicorn-looking rhino…Are you?

THE POWER OF BELIEF

I have talked earlier about how belief-systems can influence, not only our behavior but also our health. A few times I have had clients with, sometimes serious, dis-ease. During the course of treatments this changed. I don’t look to “heal” people, that’s not my business, but I help them to understand themselves and their reactions better and along the way they heal themselves, once they find balance and peace within. If a person seriously believes that his/her problem will create more ill-health, it will. And they will constantly be waiting for it.

I worked with a man who had a heart-condition; his heart would start racing out of control. It all started at a difficult time in his life and each time he saw his doctor he was told that this would get worse and probably kill him. He was on double medication and the doctor was pressing him about getting operated with a 50/50 chance of recovery. During the months that he saw me the occurrence of his heart racing dropped little by little and he stopped one of the medicines on his own. (I never meddle with people’s meds, that is between them and their doctors.) We worked with the original cause, his stress-management and talked about what he experienced – making him aware of himself and his reactions. When his heart sometimes would start racing, he could bring it down with simple relaxation-techniques, such as breathing. Still his doctor told him his condition would get worse and eventually kill him. The guy just stopped believing it, because he could feel himself getting better and found that he could control his problem when it would arise.

We believe what we are told, especially if the person who tells us is somebody we give authority.

The power of belief is much used within sports, for example; Part of coaching is strengthening the winning belief. You can run faster and jump higher. Much work goes into visualisation and mind-movies, creating the idea of success in the individual. This goes for all situations in life; if you truly believe you can succeed, you probably will. Every time we say “I can’t do that”, we obviously won’t be able to. But do you remember the time when you wanted to do something so badly that you could “taste” it? And how it became possible? This is what I am talking about. Everything is possible! Belief starts in the head and we need to stoke it, make it burn high. That is when we will succeed. Don’t listen to all the negative remarks, just stick to your belief and go for it! It’s all about your personal power.

STRONGER THAN YOU THINK – BELIEVE IT!

I have had a client with Multiple Sclerosis. She was diagnosed in her late teens, 20 years ago, so this has been a part of her life most of her life. She was surprisingly mobile considering how long she had been ill, but as it goes with MS, it comes in waves, each time leaving her a little worse. I can’t heal MS with aromatherapy, but I can help with mobility, mind-set/belief and emotions. She went to a physiotherapist (who sent her to me) for mobility and balance. As with all diseases where constant medication is involved, there was a degree of toxicity in the body and she suffered from poor balance, especially on her left side. She couldn’t raise her arms and her ribcage was pushed forward, making her a bit wobbly. The skin on her face and back was hard and closed, with very bad circulation. Her dietary habits were fine and I suggested she add Omega3 and chlorella.

For the first session I did a full-body massage with the oils of Hyssop (hyssopus officinalis) and Melissa, lemon-balm (melissa officinalis). We talked about belief-systems. She had learned to believe that she will get worse by the year and finally die from her disease. Every time she got a “wave” she expected the worst. I told her that there is no known cure for MS and yes, she will probably get worse. But she does have a life and after so many years she is still doing fine, so why not believe the best? She liked the idea and went home with that and an oil-blend for her skin and emotional state: Lemon grass (cymbopogon citratus) and Rosewood (aniba rosaeodora).

Next session after 2 weeks, I had done some research and used Cistus (cistus labdanum), Bay leaf (laurus nobilis) and Black spruce (picea mariana) for a full-body massage. She loved the blend and brought a bottle home to use on her shoulders, arms and feet. She reported feeling wonderful since the last massage; seeing an improvement in balance and skin.

Next session, 3 weeks later, she was low on arrival. She was in a “wave” and feeling very bad. Her balance had worsened, her mobility was down and she was depressed. I gave her a full-body massage with Clary sage (salvia sclarea), Roman Chamomile (chamameleum nobile) and Geranium (pelargonium graveolens). During the massage I worked on relaxing her stiff joints and suddenly she had full mobility in her arms – for the first time in many years. She was deeply relaxed and felt very good. As she got off the table, her balance was better, she could move her arms over her head and her back was straighter. I gave her stretching exercises to do every day to keep and improve mobility even more.

We talked then of belief again: How she actually didn’t have all the problems she thought; she was more mobile and better balanced than she believed. But all her adult life she has been told that this would happen to her and, being a good girl, she “obeyed”. This again points to the connection body & mind and how it is impossible to separate the two. The lady didn’t get worse after her last “wave”, because at this point she found out that she was stronger than she thought. She still has to fight fear and despair every day, but now she has a belief that she can also have a fulfilling life, and this change in outlook has gained her so much ground in physical healing as well as emotional.

Every cure for disease that exists today came from somewhere. There was a time when these diseases could not be cured, when the belief-system said “you will die”. Today people survive and live with all kinds of diseases that don’t have cures; cancer, aids, hepatitis C… I believe it can be done. I believe you need to be honest about a persons condition and not give false hopes, but show them that miracles (albeit small) happen all the time; point out the miracles, the positive and the results will be better. This is such a vital part of healing, I can’t believe it is overlooked. But maybe that is the job of people like me, who can afford to give the time a client needs. Maybe it is time to integrate us alternative therapists in the medical system.

BELIEVE

How many times do you think these people were told that their dream was not possible? Did they listen? Whatever it is you want… listen to your heart – it will always lead you right.