Monthly Archives: May 2012

The rhino, the unicorn and belief

I found this picture on FB and just love it…So much that I have to create a post around it. Hmmm, let’s see…

At first look it’s funny (mental belief); a heavy rhino turning into a sleek unicorn? Dream on! Then it becomes touching (emotional belief); rhino is so cute to even imagine the possibility. Next thought is of courage (daring belief); rhino doesn’t give up, he looks at the picture of the unicorn, wanting it so much. The next level is power (limitless belief); rhino has the power to dream the “impossible” dream.
Looking at the picture I realized that this is what we think about most every dream we have. At first we have an idea of what we want, then we travel through all layers of beliefs; mental, emotional, daring, trusting and limitless.
To your eyes the rhino might never look like a unicorn, but in his own eyes he will, if he truly believes he can. That’s all it takes; belief and the courage to stay with it. The motivation needed is to truly want it and then to figure out why we want it.
I am so totally a happy unicorn-looking rhino…Are you?

Love is a state of mind <3

Love is generous and non-judgmental, Love asks for nothing and is all-encompassing. By giving love we attract it, no matter who or where we are, it is bound-less and limitless.

My life has been, as mentioned before, full of turbulence, hardship and pain but the one thing I have always had, as a gift, was the ability to love indiscriminately. I never really thought about it, it was just always there; a warm feeling in my heart.

Many times I have been scolded for this; for always seeing the best in people and choosing to trust. And yes, I am – in a way – a fool and have been “had” quite a bit through the years because of my “naiveté”. I don’t care, I don’t want to be distrustful…I love loving.

On the love between two people; this seems to be so hard. Instead of the professed love, I see hate, anger, distrust, controlling behaviour and possessiveness. I have had jealous men who made me so insecure that I found I had to protect myself against them and pay attention to my every word. They scared me with their unfounded anger and I could never accept that jealousy was a sign of love – it’s not.

As well as bringing out the best in us, love also brings out the worst. It touches our deepest fears and unleashes them. Since love is unconditional, it will release all kinds of negative emotions in us because it is a safe arena; only in an unconditional environment can you safely ventilate and let go of the negative stuff. And when the love is unconditional, this is possible…Love is healing and love is trust.

Today is my birthday and I give thanks for the grace of love.

Stress management in 6 minutes

I was asked to do a short presentation on the topic of stress-management…In 6 minutes! I had a good laugh at this, thinking they were joking, they weren’t. As I have always had a weak spot for challenges, I of course agreed. Then I got nervous. The whole area of stress is huge and I am very good at it, but how to pick out a 6 min package that would make sense? Finally I settled on personal responsibility. That we are actually all responsible for our choices and how to handle them. This was a business-arena so I had to address both sides of the story; bosses (companies) as well as employees. Here it is:

As a boss you need to be very clear what you expect from your employe, and make sure that he knows exactly what his duties are and what is expected from him. The employe, in turn, must fill his duties. Most people have looked for their jobs, asked for them, so they should be prepared to fill the shoes. If you choose a high-performance job you must be aware of the fact that it probably will eat most of your time and the monetary gains will reflect this. To be able to cope with the burdens of such a position you need to be highly organized and disciplined or you will succumb to all kinds of stress-related trouble. Take for example a professional foot-ball player; he is payed a fortune but his life will be a life of discipline or he’s out.

If, on the other hand, you find that you can’t deal with the pressure or you find that you need more time for leisure, family or hobbies, you need to change your expectations. The monetary gains will be less and you will have to down-size your life and expenditure. It’s all about choices, there is no judgment here.

Constant availability is talked about a lot and it’s rubbish. It’s an impossibility. If your high-performance job demands constant availability, you deal with it and it should be made clear from the beginning. If not, you are creating something that doesn’t exist. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to.  So turn of your machines and enjoy some peace and quiet…Choices.

Finally, I consider work-time being just that – worktime. If I know I have a heavy schedule, I go to bed early, prepare my stuff the day before, eat properly and maybe I pop some vitamins 🙂 I don’t crash during my lunch-break.

Sometimes life throws us unexpected things that need to be dealt with, that’s just life and we deal with it as it comes along. But basic line is: Do your stuff, pay attention and get on with it. More often than not I find people have all kinds of excuses why not to change their lives and the more I’ve heard the more I am convinced that it is a question of laziness and/or victimization ideas.

RIGHTS – all kinds of rights

Over the last days the notion of “rights” have been popping up in different ways and I have thought long and hard on it. Today I read about Obama speaking of the right to same-sex marriage. I think he is a brave man to do this before election, it will cost him votes. Still he does it because it is right, and he doesn’t hold out until he’s (maybe) safe after voting day. Respect!

Yesterday a mother violated the right of her daughter by accessing her Facebook account and deleting some of her friends, me being one of them. It will not change the friendship the girl and I have, but it will change the relationship between mother and daughter and the girl will have learned distrust.

I grew up with a very strict mother who had hard and unrelenting rules. This was not always easy but she could be trusted in that she never violated my privacy; she didn’t search my room, read my diary or go through my pockets, even when she had (rightly) suspicions of rule-breaking such as smoking or alcohol. She allowed us children the sanctuary of our own space. Respect! More than that, she showed me a trust that I brought into my own motherhood and there is trust between my children and myself. Thank you Mother.

The Facebook affair had me thinking; Why is it that parents feel that they have the right to violate their children’s privacy? And demand that the child accepts and respects this? Would they accept any such thing from the child? Of course not, one unauthorized riffle through the jewellery-box and the child is told how bad it is…

The right to make choices without explaining ourselves…what about that one? For example if you say no to somebody, they might demand an explanation as to why. It’s none of their business, they should respect your right to say no. But maybe you are the kind of person that demands explanations? When we make personal choices, we are not accountable to others. If the choice is a bad one, we will have to live with the consequences – accountability is always to the self.

We violate the rights of others in so many little ways every day without thinking about it; by parking in the handicap-place, leaving the lunchroom dirty, demanding attention, cutting ahead in a queue, telling a lie… We all do it, unintentionally, because we take the right. But when somebody does that to us, we get upset and indignantly exclaim: “Who gave him/her the right!” or “You have no right to…”

Moral: If we can’t live within an arena of equal rights in our personal sphere, how on earth can we expect equal rights in a larger arena such as workplace, sexuality, gender, colour. Everything starts at home and it starts at a very early age.

ETHICAL essential oils

When I first started with aromatherapy and essential oils in the late 80’s, the largest obstacle in reaching people was the complete lack of awareness. “Aromatherapy, what’s that? Some kind of mumbo-jumbo?” Another obstacle was finding good quality essential oils since most oils went to the large market-place; perfumery, food-stuffs etc. Finding pure, unadulterated, organic or wild essential oils was not easy…Especially in Sweden which was nowhere-land when it came to aromatherapy. We were a small group of 4 or 5 people working with essential oils in Sweden at the time and we worked very hard on the quality issue. UK was way ahead at the time and that’s where we would find most of our essential oils; from people such as Robert Tisserand, Shirley Price and Jan Kusmirek, who had worked for years on creating a niche for quality oils and spending time traveling to growers and producers all over the world to make it happen.

At the time we talked about ethics; the ethics of aromatherapy, essential oils and vegetable oils. Ethics is also about sustainability; when you cut a tree you plant another one…Or two. Organic was not really on the agenda at the time, public knowledge about essential oils and aromatherapy was more or less non-extinct, and hard work was put in to create an awareness about ethical essential oils.

Fast-forward till today: Aromatherapy is a house-hold word, everybody knows about essential oils. By putting the word “aromatherapy” on a product, a promise is somehow made; this will do more for you, no matter if it is a washing-powder or a spa. It has become the great magic word; everybody wants aromatherapy. (And it’s always written, for some obscure reason, in italics 🙂 ) Aromatherapy has become a marketing word, as far from the real thing as is possible.

Now there are all kinds of statements around the quality of essential oils; organic, bio, natural, certified pure therapeutic grade and so on. Most of this is pure marketing and have no value what-so-ever when it comes to defining the quality of an essential oil, without thorough analysis you can sell most anything under any flag and get away with it, quality is hard to discern without years of experience.

MLM-companies now sell “certified pure therapeutic grade oils“, check this link for the truth, or rather untruth, about that statement. Anybody can say anything about essential oils without any training whatsoever, selling oils under false pretences. Aromatherapy is about therapy and takes training. Essential oils are powerful substances that should be used with care. They are also a gift from nature and should be treated with respect and care. You do not take from nature without giving something back, she is not a money-cow.

The moment therapeutic essential oils became money-makers, ruthlessness entered the field. The magic of these precious substances is reduced to dollars and cents and the respect for nature went out the window. Here is to give you an idea: One year France exported 3 tonnes of lemon-balm (melissa officinalis), a very expensive oil, to Morocco. Morocco in turn exported 9 tonnes of lemon-balm that year. Only problem is; Morocco had, at the time, no production of lemon-balm…Makes you think, doesn’t it, what is really in the little expensive bottles you buy. And don’t be fooled by fancy labeling with certifications on them – often they are just marketing, nothing else. Inform yourself, get some basic knowledge and use your common sense. Demand information, ask questions and make sure that you get what you pay for. If somebody comes to your door to sell you essential oils…beware.

Finally; I would like to exchange all the rubbish certifications with the word ethical. And I would like to see traceability and documentation to this fact.

Check out my earlier posts on aromatherapy and essential oils profiles to get an idea of what true aromatherapy is and how much plant-matter is needed to get even a small amount of essential oils.