Unbeknownst to us we hold onto stuff that is hindering us in our lives or development. Oftentimes we are not aware of it or refuse to acknowledge it. Sometimes we are in denial, because it’s easier or makes us feel better. Whatever the reason, the stuff we hold onto is ballast in our lives and it is slowing us down. We might be holding onto some, or all, of the following categories:
- Emotions & feelings
- Ideas & beliefs
Usually whatever we are holding onto creates a negative feeling in us because we hold on from fear. It efficiently closes the door on expansion. We need to let go. Whatever we are holding on to, it’s always lodged in the past;
- “I know what I have but I don’t know what I’ll get”
Consider yourself as an energetic being for a moment; you have 100% of energy to use every day and this will be distributed within your being. Everything costs energy and this will be taken from your 100%, including old stuff that should be long gone. So if you use up, say 40%, of your overall energy just for the ballast, you have reduced your daily “income” with 60%. This is like having a massive energy-leak in your home and constantly, unnecessarily, paying that bill.
We all grow up with certain mindsets from our families or society; they lodge in the sub-conscious mind and rule how we live our lives. Religion, trauma, misunderstandings all “keep us in our place”. Usually those who are the closest to us are the ones most opposed to any change you choose to do, because if you change this will automatically create change in them and they are not ready for that. Every single person I have ever worked with on this issue say the same thing; “My …(parents, spouse, sister, friend) talked me out of it / don’t understand / don’t support…
We are not supposed to hang onto things, not even trauma. At one point we have to let it go. I wise man I know said; “It’s like walking up a mountain, dragging a dead horse. The horse is dead, let it go“. (I love this sentence)
Once I was asked by a friend to help her clear out her ridiculously full attic; I went over and we worked all day. At the end of the day we had 3 equal piles: To keep, Charity and Trash. At that point this friend started looking through the piles, changing her mind; “Oh, but I might need this one day, I can’t throw this away, oh,oh,oh, my memories, my life”. She put it all back in the attic. 2 years later she payed a fortune in moving fees AND storage, because her new home was too small to hold all the stuff!
I have met people who refuse to heal – consciously refused to heal, because they are afraid of what that change might bring. I have met people with childhood traumas who refuse to let them go and forever spend their time crying and wondering why life isn’t happening to them. I have met people who want to lose weight but won’t do the work…. One thing they all have in common is fear and self-pity; being a victim.
I have also met the above people who did the necessary changes; who passed the fear and self-pity and started to take charge of their lives, turning things around and feeling good about themselves, accepting whatever changes that came. There is no such thing as the proverbial silver spoon, there is only personal responsibility and the will to change.
Since this article is very long, I will post it in parts. Part 2 will come tomorrow.