That said, I still experience a slight quickening of my heartbeat when I realize that I have forgotten my phone – stress. Even if it is only to go to the train-station in the next village, 5 km away, to pick up someone. I think: “What if something happens? Without my phone I am stranded – AAArrrghhh!” This is so ridiculous that I blush.

I have hitch-hiked alone through Europe, brought up 4 children, lived an isolated life in the forest and never did I have a phone. How on earth did I survive? I think we forget about the time when mobile phones didn’t exist and how easily we lived our lives anyway. You made a date with someone and kept it. Now you make a date with someone and if something happens along the way, you just call and everything is okay…and somehow it is as if more things tend to happen “on the way” since the mobile-phones, and we have become nonchalant.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the mobile phone. It massively simplifies life…I just don’t like the space they are taking in people’s lives and I don’t like that I sometimes feel stressed by the expected availability of my person. So I make rules; there are times when I am just not available; when I give treatments, when I speak with a friend, at a restaurant, movie, concert. On the loo and when in bed – whatever I happen to be doing there. I want to be the kind of person that gives 100% attention to the person in front of me. And if I feel that I can’t do that – well, then I stay on my own. And when I do answer my phone, I am available and I will give the person the attention they deserve.

RESPECT!

I listen to many young people, and what is becoming more and more evident is this constant, incessant talk of body and weight. I am seriously disturbed by this. Like so many other girls, I grew up with a weight-fixated mother and that left me with disturbed body-notions. I was – of course – always thin, no matter the price. At the time anorexia / bulimia was not spoken about, but many girls had a “light” version of one or the other…remember Twiggy? So this problem is nothing new. What has happened is that it has become a bigger issue than just weight; now it’s about eternal youth. As someone said: “Youth is wasted on the young”; so true, youth is inherently beautiful but we don’t become aware of that until we are past “the prime”, as it were.

When I was in my 20′s it was all about weight, most people were thin and obesity was hardly known – in Europe at least. Over time, almost as a protest, people got fatter – and started showing it with skin-tight clothes. This would NEVER have happened in the 70′s or 80′s. And I like it, it’s giving the finger to the starved, sad “Twiggy-look”, taking back the right to owning your body. But then it got out of proportion and it has become unhealthy. So now girls are either starving or eating themselves to death! What is going on?

Then came the Eternal Youth-thing. We can all become eternally young – well parts of us; plastic surgery has become such a common practice that many people find it completely normal. I know old women who are “eternally young” in this way; they look very scary…wouldn’t want to run into them un-prepared in a dark room….but they probably looked fine to start with? I know old women who look like old women and they are beautiful and stylish, wearing their age as a trophy, refusing to succumb to the shame of age.

There is a new look – the “surgery-look”; The corner of the lips pulled up in a perpetual half-smile, the look of surprise in the lifted eyebrows, the forever perky bosom that will point straight to the sky even when lady is lying on her back. Also; the wrinkled necks, spotted old hands, the slightly skeletal look of the face….Still, it can be oh, so tempting sometimes. I watch myself age in the mirror, the bad fit between me on the inside and me on the outside. But then I look around at all the gorgeous, proud and amazing old women that one finds it so easy to respect, and I know that I want to be one of them. I had youth and beauty for a long time, and I was too stupid to enjoy it fully, but I did enjoy it, and now it is another time. I am a woman, not a girl, and my beauty lies today in who I am, in my pride. And I shine!

(The 2 first pictures in this post come from health-related ads, the next 2 were sent to me and the last one is mine)

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi ~

(photo from www.grandpalais.fr)

On May 15 from 7 pm until 1 am the Grand Palais opened their doors to allow, for the first time, the public free access to the whole building. Perfumer Francis Kurkdjian created a collection of scented bubbles that were released in the nave by bubble-blowing machines. The air was filled with scented bubbles, releasing their floral, fruity, herbal and honey fragrances when popped. A magical scene with a soundscape specially created by Béatrice Ardisson. The NoctamBulle was experienced by 23 000 visitors.

http://annastao.wordpress.com

In this blog I will chronicle every aspect of the journey; frustrations, learning and understanding. I believe it will take about a year. If anybody else is doing, or about to do, anything like this, please share.

One of the biggest fears in society is about money and economy; to not have enough. Upon this fear one of the biggest institutions in society is built; the banking-system, the great ruler of wealth. But look what happened; the banking-system crashed and actually not that much changed for most people. They still go to work, collect their pay-check, pay their bills… The monster was slayed, and the expected crisis to every last person didn’t materialize. And now, a couple of years later, there is already talk about a rising of the economical system…this crash was apparently quite easy to “heal”.

So what happens when we are ruled by fear: We stop taking chances, stop dreaming, stop changing, stop advancing. We stay in our place and hope that nothing bad will happen to us. We are afraid to lose our belongings, status and security and we are totally prepared to close down our creative inner sources to stay in the illusion of safety. Fear breeds jealousy; towards the people who have more, or the ones that follow their dreams and, most of all, towards those who keep their freedom and joy.

So let’s strip away fear; its like the onion, layer upon layer of excuses, programming and ideas: Start with the obvious fear and question yourself through the layers: For each question there is an answer that needs to be questioned, until you reach the very core where release will be your prize. You will learn so much about yourself and you will start seeing possibilities like never before. You can do anything you like, usually the only thing stopping you is – fear. So go for it; start questioning yourself.

FEARLESS:

Many people who  come to see me want a “quick fix”, hoping that I will wave my magic wand and all that is difficult will just vanish. It doesn’t function like this. We have become so used to the quick fixes of medicine and drugs, that we have become unaware of how we live and influence our lives. When there is imbalance, be it physical, emotional or whatever, something needs to be changed and a quick fix only postpones this moment of change.

Often people are shocked by what they need to do to change a negative situation; nutritional habits, sleeping habits, medication, drugs, thought-patterns…. and they get upset by this. Well, we often sit in our imbalanced situations because we allowed ourselves to get there through bad habits and/or choices. We are all responsible for our lives and we are the only ones who can change anything. And no, it’s not easy – but who ever said it would be? If we really want something badly enough, we go for it – no matter the cost or work it entails. This is how we should live our lives.

Some people call me a life-saver, thanking me for saving their lives, others say that I do nothing for them. To both groups I say the same: “I am only a tool, albeit a very good one, but you are the one doing the work and using me as a tool. Results or no, it’s all up to you”. And the people who do the work and stick with it always, ALWAYS, reach their goals. Sometimes we fall down, or off the wagon, but that is also learning, look for the mechanics; why did it happen? then get up, brush yourself off and get on with it. Nothing is ever lost because of small “mis-takes” on the way, but they can be valuable lessons and keys to success.

Everybody can do it

And here is a small speech from Dalai Lama, embracing the same ideas in his beautifully simple way:

]]> http://annadannfelt.com/2010/05/04/a-great-speech/feed/ 0 anna dannfelt http://annadannfelt.com/2010/05/03/the-invitation/ http://annadannfelt.com/2010/05/03/the-invitation/#comments Mon, 03 May 2010 10:30:20 +0000 Body & Mind Balance http://annadannfelt.com/?p=955 ]]> The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Coach: noun 1 an instructor or trainer in sport. 2 a tutor who gives private or specialized teaching. • verb train or teach as a coach.

”A coach just has a different perspective. The coach can see what you can’t see because you’re in the forest and they’re outside of it.
To me, a coach is not better, they’re a friend, they’re an equal, they’re there for you, they’re somebody who cares deeply about your well-being but they’re also incredibly skilled to help guide you at the moment you really need it.”
-Tony Robbins

The key-word here being guide.

I always considered myself being a therapist; helping people when they needed it. I was always good at understanding what’s going on in people, so it is quite natural for me to work professionally with this. Now more and more people call me a coach, which I never do. So I decided to look into this whole coach-thing and see why I am suddenly a coach…

First of all I realized that the word therapist is connected to imbalance & need, and many people don’t feel comfortable with this. Coach, on the other hand, implies strength & choice. To me they are only words, but words are important; I call people who come to me clients – they come by their own choice because they want to change or balance something in their lives. To me they are never patients - which to me sound like a passive acceptance of something out of control.

So back to coaching: As a therapist/coach I back people up and I guide them to find their ultimate path in life and the strengths they have. I also guide them in understanding and finding acceptance of sad or negative actions/re-actions.  I believe everybody can change and re-create his/her  life if and when needed. I care deeply about the person in front of me and I am non-judgmental. Of all the things I learned during my years of listening and inter-acting with others, the most difficult was being non-judgmental; liberating myself from my own values, ideas and programmings. A session of “coaching” is always about the person asking (the client). The coach/therapist is a tool for personal development – be it sport, health, studies or anything else.

I am also a coach as in teacher: I train health professionals in different specialized areas such as essential oils, motivation etc. I also give work-shops to people who want to know different stuff.

Besides which; a coach is a carriage, which I find a bit funny. Don’t really know how the words connect, but maybe the coaches around the world carry the people to results…?