The moral? Children who are in fear or carry some kind of trauma feel invisible; the shadow children. When they are carefully seen and loved they heal and become “visible” again. Children are amazingly resilient and can bounce back from almost anything, given the right circumstances. Why do we seem to lose that ability as we grow older, hanging on to traumas and fears as if they were our raison d’être?

Illustration: Tove Jansson

C’est normale is just that; neither good nor bad…C’est normale. It is applicable to any situation and when this phrase passes your lips, it becomes true; c’est normale!

(pic from my friend Christoph)

I thought I lost it; in the chaos of being mother, woman, wife, settler and just more or less grown up, it slid away and vanished. Hah! Nothing ever goes away.. I again spend evenings with other passionate heated individuals with a new take on life. They are boys and girls, men and women. They come from wherever with whatever history and we share our thoughts and liberate our minds… Life is beautiful although she sometimes plays tricks on us. And time is of no consequence at all.

• Shopping is done in stores – always. This means packaging galore and boy are people into packaging! So I make choices based on the packaging and of course the foodstuffs; no expensive crappy packaged and processed food.
• Trash: Luxembourg is amazing in that you get little bins for recycling that then are collected at your house every 2 weeks – impressive! I started a compost where a lot of stuff goes, including the ashes from the stove. The bonus of the compost is that the moles have stopped killing off my plants and instead hang out in the compost which we now call the mole-feeder I ordered the smallest dustbin, 60 liters, which is collected once a week. Thanks to the mole-feeder and the brilliant recycling, this tiny dustbin is more than enough, even when my house is full.
• Heating: Luxembourg is a lot less cold in winter than Sweden and already that simplifies a lot. I have electric heating in the house and during winter keeping the house warm would cost me a fortune, so I installed a wood-burning stove that heats more or less the whole house. It takes work and planning but it functions beautifully and I can keep my living-area wonderfully warm. I absolutely detest cold weather and refuse to go outside unnecessarily in winter, the wood-work forces me out every day for some good strength-training…Automatic health
• Water: There seems to be unlimited amounts of water all the time, the hot water is created in a boiler. It is so easy to just use, use, use…This is a bit trickier to keep check of, but I keep the usage down, no need to use everything just because it’s there. And the garden must survive the occasional dry spell in summer.

At the end of the day my bills are down, my house is warm, the moles are fed and my garden gives me berries and fruit in abundance…I love making jam I don’t grow my food as I used to in the forest because I am really enjoying the comfort of life here and growing food is a lot of work.

Conclusion: Even if I was stinking rich and could get everything I wanted in the amounts I wanted it, I would still live this way. What might have started out as an economical solution or necessity has turned into a life-style of respect for the Earth and all the gifts she showers us with. Everything has a price even if we don’t notice it and we need to remember that.

Another noteworthy point is that sustainable living is automatically healthy and even if it takes some work and planning, it is still both easier and cheaper than going to the gym or trying to stay on a diet. You can only win.

The point here is that when starting out with no modernities in such a pure space of nature, you become extremely aware of the sustainability of your living; washing-powder and liquids go down the drain and flow slowly beneath the green grasses where the horses graze and suddenly it really matters what you allow into that flow. Taking water becomes an issue as well; if the levels drops you have to ration the water to make it last. Heating; big issue. Electricity was installed in our house – state of the art, we could actually keep a lamp lit while having a fridge! We even had a tiny boiler that would hold 30 liters; just enough to bathe 2 children in the sink, once the dishes were done and more water had been heated in the boiler. Electricity is expensive so we used wood to heat the house, a wood-burning stove is brilliant in the kitchen, filling 2 purposes at once and a tiny house is bliss to heat during the long cold winter. Getting firewood is hard work but we had plenty of forest.

The children used diapers of cloth to save both money and space in the dust-bin. Getting rid of garbage is costly and you don’t know where it goes. Everything that could go on the compost went there and the dogs and cats would eat the rest. Packaging was not a big problem since we  got most of our foodstuffs and milk from the farmers around.

We weren’t looking to be sustainable, it was never a thought or an issue, it just automatically happened. Both me and Hubby were from the city where everything is taken for granted; there are unlimited amounts of water – even hot water – all the time, you can flush most anything down the toilet and the trashcan is a hole in the wall containing a chute that will transport your trash to “somewhere in the basement”, never to be seen or heard from again. In the forest this all changed; nothing is automatic and whatever you do (or don’t) it’s going to stare you in the face all the time.

Lesson learned: Sustainability is about re-using everything and thinking twice all the time. From how you heat your house and get rid of your garbage to how you shop, cook and maintain your stuff. sustainability takes time and work. To be honest, at the time it was also about economy; it’s hard for an entire family to live on one small salary and I really wanted to be with the children full time. I baked our bread, collected fruits, berries, herbs and mushrooms from the forest and the garden…I am a mean jam-maker! I sewed our stuff for the house and some of the children’s clothes.

Now my life has changed a lot and in the next post I will tell you about how this works. Stay tuned folks!

Just to give you an idea; limonene, found in citrus-fruits, has been judged a skin irritant by a “body”. Now here is reality:

• The hazardous substance occurs when limonene oxidizes (the aging process), oxidized limonene is an irritant.
• Limonene is found in a majority of house-hold products and is considered safe. There are no restrictions.
• Limonene is found in many food-stuffs and drinks, including babyfoods, it’s an excellent taste enhancer.
• Every time you handle a citrus-fruit – and especially when you peel it – you get rather large amounts of limonene on your skin.

All these facts aside, “people” are afraid of limonene and it has been branded a skin-hazard not to be used. So if this is the case, why are we allowed to eat oranges?

People want to be sustainable without giving up comfort; sure recycling is good – as long as I don’t have to think about it. Using less electricity is fine unless it cramps my style. (check out the comments every time there is a suggestion of 1 hour electricity-free time; “Not without my computer, music, tv”….and mind you, this is only one hour!)

I always found it really upsetting or irritating that people would be so lazy and stupid until I looked again and realized that there is no sustainability on a personal level – the Self. Some people starve themselves to death, others eat themselves to death; we are killing ourselves with crappy choices in life. Instead of investing in our health through lifestyle choices, we use surgery and medication to keep our sorry selves alive. How can we even think about sustainable living when we are incapable of taking responsibility for ourselves?

Sustainability starts at home, with yourself. If you can’t even take care of your physical health, how can you ever grasp the idea of taking care of Mother Earth? The trashing we are seeing, the greed and laziness that is depleting and destroying the globe is mirroring how we treat ourselves on a personal level, the lack of (self)respect that is our way of life.

I want to thank you readers for showing me that this is possible. And wish you a wonderful new year!

Then I moved to another country, leaving my ex-husband in Sweden. One child moved to London, 2 came with me to Luxembourg and the 4th stayed in Stockholm. We decided that every second year the children would spend Christmas with me and the other years with their father. My first Christmas alone was surreal; I spent the night in a club with some friends, watching sexy coked out girls in Santa-bikinis dancing on the bar. I came home at 5am. Since then I have spent my odd “alone” Christmases with different people, it’s always different and slightly surreal.

I was surprised by the fact that I didn’t miss the big family-gatherings, that seeing Christmas from another point of view was so interesting and fulfilling. And I realized that I don’t care much for Christmas, often it brings out the worst in people. Having adult children down-scales the need for twinkling, we all have different agendas. Maybe when I have grand-children I will do the whole Christmas bit again and I will probably love it! But for now I am happy with the down-scaling and Christmas has for me become a time to be with people, any people and my world has grown larger and more profound. So instead of locking ourselves away in our clans, maybe we should open up to others. Feed somebody hungry, invite a lonely friend and spread the blessings…

Some of you guys have sent me comments and sometimes questions. If you have a blog I look at it to find out a bit about you. Then, when I write it is not just words going into the Universe, it is going to somebody: You. Seeing as I have quite a bit of readers there must be a wealth of knowledge, questions and ideas out there and we seem to share interests. Please drop me a line and I will write for you.

Today I will answer a question from Tiffany (I think is your name) http://livingfrombalance.wordpress.com She asks what brand essential oils I use.

I try every brand I ever run into. Some are pure crap and some are wonderful. Basically I use, since almost 20 yrs, oils from Fragrant Earth in the UK. I do the odd buys from other companies as well. Time is a great indicator of quality-awareness in a company. If the oils stay high-quality and even get better…good company. I have seen the dedication and time that goes into procuring the best oils possible and it’s intense. I think it’s important to stay open; try different brands, compare and use your nose to find the best ones for you.