Category Archives: Personal development

STRESS, the disease of discontenment?

Posted on June 23, 2011 | Leave a comment

In 19th century Sweden the “torpare” or crofters were farm-laborers with a cottage. This already brought their status up compared to the ordinary laborers. They had the use of a tiny cottage; 1 room and a small kitchen with dirt-floors and some land around it for planting crops. The “rent” for the cottage was to work for the landowner and sometimes also with payments in the form of  crops. The families were usually large with 6-12 children and everybody had to work; man, wife and the children over a certain age. The average working-hours were from 4am – 7pm. They were allowed 13 Sundays  per year to go to church. For each hour of missed work, one entire work-day was demanded. Besides this, the rules for how to run the cottage were very strict; the lands and cottage had to be well-tended and in perfect repair. Their food and survival came from the crops they grew at the cottage, usually on very meager soil. Pregnant women usually worked until the contractions started and a day after giving birth, they were back at work. Smaller children were tended by one of the older. With all this work for the landowner, when on earth did they manage their own land? Herculean effort 24/7, 352 days/year. Oh, almost forgot, the landowner also had the right to beat them if they did not perform. Slavery? not quite, for extra work (extra work? you’ve got to be kidding, right?) they would receive a pittance. And these were people that were enviable to others…

This kind of living ended as late as the early 20th century, there are still people, albeit old, who have some memories of this kind of life through the stories told by their parents. The industrial revolution came as a blessing; regulated working hours, regulated salaries, medi-care, insurance… still, to us living today, even the industrial era is an unimaginable hardship.

Hard life? Stress?

In comparison our lives today are comfy, lazy, luxurious ….and whiny. How did these people survive such a hard day-to-day life? And what about when really tough times hit? Drought, famine, death, inability to work… they would be out on the street, entire families with no possibility whatsoever to feed or clothe themselves, let alone all the children. From my point of view this kind of life would induce such tremendous stress; people must have been constantly in a state of burn-out, heart-attacks galore, aches and pains, sleeping problems, nervous break-downs, psychological wreaks and what-have-you.

I see people every day that complain of stress and sometimes I honestly wonder “what is their problem?” Over time I have found a red thread: dis-contentment. Society today showers us with ideas of what we could have. And everybody is believing it. Nothing seems quite good enough and everything is exchangeable. Tired of your sofa, car, man, woman, house, stereo, TV? …exchange it. Values disintegrate and the rat-race is on. Now we talk about sustainable living, 6 hour workdays and our rights. What rights? Who’s rights? Who are going to give us these rights? Aren’t we all responsible for our own reality? You want to be sustainable? Keep your stuff until it falls apart, don’t throw your food away, be grateful for all that you have and repair!

We complain about stress, how awful it is, how it is the new disease. Still, we all know about stress, it doesn’t come as a surprise and with this knowledge we should be able to nip it in the bud, don’t you think? If you know that you will break your leg by jumping off the roof, will you still jump? With the basic living quality we have today…how can we have such huge personal problems with more or less everything? Don’t accept stress, say no. Keep remembering your “good place” and pay attention to stay there and most of all; find contentment. I believe today’s stress has more to do with dis-content than actual pressure. And if you are angry with me now for saying this, maybe you should read the first paragraph again.

Be grateful you have a car, even if it looks like shit and you would like a Mercedes. Be grateful for your health and, when you fall ill, that you get medical care and are not left to die by the roadside. So you have to wear last year’s dress…at least you have one or two or more. Every time you run your washing machine, give thanks that you don’t have to wash by hand – all that extra time saved. Next time you are about to throw out the left-overs, think again and turn them into another meal. Take a moment every day to think about all the blessings in your life and feel the gratitude. Your ancestors worked themselves to death to create this abundant life for you. I think they’re turning in their graves at how ungrateful and whiny we have all become. Find contentment and you will beat stress faster than a cat sneezes.

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Posted in Lifestyle, Personal development, Stress

EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING

Posted on June 9, 2011 | 1 Comment

You know how little irritating things happen that might throw the day of course? Like forgetting your keys, taking the wrong turn or dropping a glass that explodes in one million shards… It’s really annoying and can put you in a bad mood for the rest of the day. We get hooked on that first negative moment and then we are blinded for all other possibilities. I have been working on a way around this, I look at the other side – the silver lining of the cloud. Sometimes, admittedly, I have to look really hard to see any redeeming qualities in what happened, but they are always there, or maybe I have gotten really good at finding them (what else can a desperate girl do?).

I made a poster where I write such situations, minor stuff. (see pic) To the left is “negative”  in red and on the right is the “silver lining” in green. Some things are really obvious when they happen, others take some pondering :-) I have 3 such “obvious” silver-linings:

  • - Falling    + Not hurting myself and realizing that I can fall without hurting myself :-)
  • - Stomach illness    + Lose some pounds
  • - Make a mistake with a recipe    + A new exiting product

The thing is that it sits there, the poster, reminding me of little silver-linings and inviting me to write more. I am having a tough one right now and I don’t know how it will end up, but I am sure there will be a silver-lining and then it gets easier to handle.

 

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HUMANITY

Posted on May 10, 2011 | Leave a comment

Uplifting, want to share this.

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CENTERED IN THE SELF

Posted on April 25, 2011 | Leave a comment

One of the most important things for balance in life is to be centered in the Self and this is not always an easy thing. From early  age we are conditioned to put others before ourselves and when we don’t we are called egoists. This has created tremendous amounts of guilt in most of us and guilt moves into anger and fear. The egoist approach awakens when we are not centered in our Self, when we constantly fear that we will not get what we need, then we will override both our Self and others to make sure that we are safe – or seen.

So what is being centered in the Self, and how do we stay centered? First of all it’s about self-respect and self-love; listening to our inner voice and the signals we send ourselves, not overriding our own will in favor of others. When we are aligned with ourselves, we will automatically align with those around us and all needs will be filled.

Centered in the Self is abut that; centered. In each and every situation we need to feel if this is right for us. Sometimes our reactions come from conditioning and they are recognizable by the accompanying feeling of guilt or grudge. Feelings move and are received on a subconscious level. We have all received something (be it thing or action) that was accompanied by guilt or grudge and we knew it. It made us feel uncomfortable and guilty, so the exchange became an exchange of guilt instead of something positive. Each time we do something from guilt or fear, the feelings transport themselves in the action, creating even more negative space.

When centered in the Self, we give with love and joy, transporting a sense of positivity, making us and the receiver feel good. When we are centered we give love and respect to others because this is what we carry within; We can never give that what we don’t have. Being centered means that we open up space around us which helps us to not get overwhelmed and exhausted. This same space automatically opens up to others as well. The conditioning of negative egoism makes us deny ourselves in favor of others, this means that others need to deny themselves in favor of us – or we would all be in a bad place. What is going on here is a complete denial of self-responsibility, leaving us depleted, helpless and scared.

Being centered in the Self is self-empowerment; from this place we are able and capable to do wonders – both to ourselves and those around us without being depleted or depleting others. Remember; “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat forever.” Now, this guy might not thank you, because he wanted the momentary fish to eat. But when he finds the self-empowerment of not being in need, he will be happy….and he’ll teach somebody else to fish.

It is not easy to step out of the vicious circle of guilt and fear, so deeply is it conditioned. The conditioning says that not catering to the needs of others is unloving, this is not true. Sometimes the greatest act of love is a kick in the behind.

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KARMA

Posted on April 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

“What goes around,  comes around”. That would imply a circle of punishment or rewards for our action. If we behave badly, bad things happen to us and vice verse. I like the phrase, but I don’t believe in punishment and reward. The more time passes, and I look closely at the implications of my actions, I have come to realize it is the other way around; Karma is one of our keys to learning. Karma is not the response to our actions, it’s the trigger. When Karma happens to us it is because we attract it for our personal growth, and our reactions define who we are. Karma is constant.

Example: Late one night I was driving home on a deserted highway, when suddenly a young man was standing by the road. My first instinct was to pass him…you never know, right? But I stopped and picked him up. It turned out that his moped had run out of gas somewhere and he had been walking for 2 hours, trying to find a gas-station. I took him to a gas-station and he filled up a canister, but then he had no idea whatsoever of where his moped was, somewhere in a village. We drove around for more than an hour in a myriad of little villages until we found it. The boy was only 17 and going back home from his girlfriend’s house and he was totally lost. When he asked me why I had helped him and how he could repay me, I said: “Karma, one day you will do the same thing for somebody else and even if it takes 20 years, when it happens you will remember this”. And honestly, I felt sooo good about myself, I was purring like a cat, thinking; “oh yes, I got myself some good Karma there”.

Looking at this episode today I realize that Karma did not come to me from what I did; the boy was Karma – the choice of helping or not. The situation triggered something in me, defining who I chose to be at that moment. For the boy I was not Karma, the breaking down of the moped and finding himself abandoned in the night was his Karma – not for anything he had done before, but because he needed to learn something about himself.

Karma is there, around us, all the time; the chance to personal growth, it is up to us to choose it. And sometimes Karma comes and hits us so hard in the face, that we lose our breath, this is when a learning experience is absolutely necessary, not because of something we did, or did not, do. We will constantly attract Karma in different ways and the results of our actions is not Karma, it is what we learned from the Karmatic experience.

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ORIGINAL CAUSE

Posted on March 8, 2011 | Leave a comment

Picture from http://www.hypnos-healing.co.uk

There is always an original cause for dis-ease, no matter how far in the past it might be. For any profound healing to take place, the original cause needs to be found and dealt with and no matter what the symptoms look like, it is not enough to make them “go away”. For each symptom that we make “go away” there will be another taking its place. Sometimes the symptoms mask the cause and hide it behind layers of problems and misunderstandings, shielding it from being reached.

Original cause is usually something painful, something we don’t want to remember or re-live, so we bury it, unconsciously, and as long as it is not resolved, it will cause dis-ease and imbalance within us. We will believe ourselves unlucky and unable to attain happiness, constantly being aware of the negative side of everything that happens to us. It becomes a state of mind and we feel exposed, vulnerable and victimized.

Original cause may be something that at the time was profoundly hurtful or scary, but in the light of today turns out to be very small and when it is revealed we are surprised at how deeply we were impacted. There are no measures for what is large or small trauma; the only measure is the impact it has on the person. Suffering is personal and can not be judged. Once original cause is found and dealt with, the symptoms are alleviated. Finding original cause is much like peeling an onion, the more it is buried, the more layers need to be gone through. During this time profound healing takes place – step by step.

Original cause is also present when there is disease or illness, sometimes subtle and sometimes dramatic. It might have been extreme stress, high pressure or an accident. A physical trauma may be resolved by intervention but the risk is that the emotional trauma stays. Over time the trauma deepens and one day there is distress or disease within the body system. We are entities made up of body, mind and emotion; when there is trauma to one part, all the others will feel the impact and any part might show symptoms of the trauma – there is no separation. All trauma creates fear and fear makes itself known in many different ways.

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RHYTHM & WAVES how do we move?

Posted on February 21, 2011 | Leave a comment

Every person has their own rhythm; sleep, energy, hormonal cycles, digestion, that greatly influences performance.  Most writers I know write in the wee hours of morning or late at night when all is quiet and there are no interruptions, many athletes prefer to train in the morning. Some people are full of energy in the evenings and some in the mornings. Daily life schedule is usually fixed, no matter how our rhythms look, and this can sometimes become an enormous stressor.

Many people experience sleeping-problems; they can’t fall asleep in the evening, wake up at strange times, are tired upon waking in the morning… Often it is related to their specific sleep-patterns or rhythms. The same goes for our “daily cycles”; our energy moves in waves and at certain times during the day we have “dips” when we feel tired or un-focused. Over time this can lead to tension and stress.

Most people aren’t even aware of their own patterns, they fight a loosing battle trying to fit into a schedule of work, over time getting depleted and stressed. By learning our patterns or rhythms, we can enhance our performance by time-management and scheduling. So how do we learn our patterns?

Keep a diary for 1-4 weeks where you note your findings:

  • Sleep: When do you get tired in the evening? When do you feel comfortable getting up? How many hours do you need to sleep?
  • “Dips”: Pay attention to when this happens during the day and how often. Note the time.
  • Digestion: How do you feel comfortable with eating? What time? How many times? How much? How long does it take you to digest?
  • Hormones (more obvious for women): Menstrual cycles; how do they affect your performance?

After a certain amount of time, you will notice a pattern in your diary; this would be your basic energy-rhythm. By knowing your pattern you can also fit it with the life you are living. You need to teach yourself to function optimally.

Balance your sleep:

  • Energetic in the evenings, tired in the morning? Do something; take a walk or exercise, prepare for the next day so morning flows easy (get your clothes out, clean the kitchen, pack your bag). Then go to bed. Keep your room dark and cool. Maybe a calming tea or a bath will help.
  • Tired in the evenings, energetic in the morning? Get to bed earlier and get up earlier. Do your exercise in the morning, your daily preparation as well.
  • Waking up in the night at the same hour? When this is caused by stress it is usually very negative; worry, angst, a sense of doom and extremely black thoughts. Then stress-management is a must. If it is “only” waking up it could be that you have left your deep sleep and moved into dream time. Stay relaxed, breath deeply and stay with your dream. Research shows that to remember a dream, we need to wake up after it and stay awake 1-3 minutes, whis means that we wake up many times during the night without being aware of it, usually we just fall asleep again.
  • When you constantly feel exhausted after a nights sleep there is usually stress involved; your brain is not resting and you probably have problems accessing your deep sleep state. Stress-management is needed.
  • Heavy or large meals, alcohol, sugars and black/green tea/ coffee in the evening will influence your sleep negatively.

“Dips”: When you have found the rhythm, use the “dip-time” for de-stress by taking a break, a few minutes is usually enough: Drink water (not coffee), move around a bit, do some deep breathing. A friend of mine goes running or walking in the stairs… whatever suits you. Just move!

Digestion:

  • When do you need your main meal? Morning, noon, afternoon? This is different for everybody.
  • How do you react on what you eat? Maybe you need to change your eating habits? The body needs more time to digest a heavy meal such as steak, pasta, greasy food. If you feel heavy and tired after eating, chances are that you are eating the wrong stuff. Always move after meals; take a walk.
  • How often do you need sustenance such as a fruit? (NOT sugary stuff)

Hormones:

Ladies, we are NOT slaves under our hormones!!!

  • PMS: irritation, anger? Get fish-oil capsules. Use breathing techniques, balancing essential oils, exercise.

We are made for physical movement; to optimize our performance we need to move many times during the day. This will balance hormones, sleep, digestion, mental clarity and moods. MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!

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THE POWER OF BELIEF

Posted on February 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

I have talked earlier about how belief-systems can influence, not only our behavior but also our health. A few times I have had clients with, sometimes serious, dis-ease. During the course of treatments this changed. I don’t look to “heal” people, that’s not my business, but I help them to understand themselves and their reactions better and along the way they heal themselves, once they find balance and peace within. If a person seriously believes that his/her problem will create more ill-health, it will. And they will constantly be waiting for it.

I worked with a man who had a heart-condition; his heart would start racing out of control. It all started at a difficult time in his life and each time he saw his doctor he was told that this would get worse and probably kill him. He was on double medication and the doctor was pressing him about getting operated with a 50/50 chance of recovery. During the months that he saw me the occurrence of his heart racing dropped little by little and he stopped one of the medicines on his own. (I never meddle with people’s meds, that is between them and their doctors.) We worked with the original cause, his stress-management and talked about what he experienced – making him aware of himself and his reactions. When his heart sometimes would start racing, he could bring it down with simple relaxation-techniques, such as breathing. Still his doctor told him his condition would get worse and eventually kill him. The guy just stopped believing it, because he could feel himself getting better and found that he could control his problem when it would arise.

We believe what we are told, especially if the person who tells us is somebody we give authority.

The power of belief is much used within sports, for example; Part of coaching is strengthening the winning belief. You can run faster and jump higher. Much work goes into visualisation and mind-movies, creating the idea of success in the individual. This goes for all situations in life; if you truly believe you can succeed, you probably will. Every time we say “I can’t do that”, we obviously won’t be able to. But do you remember the time when you wanted to do something so badly that you could “taste” it? And how it became possible? This is what I am talking about. Everything is possible! Belief starts in the head and we need to stoke it, make it burn high. That is when we will succeed. Don’t listen to all the negative remarks, just stick to your belief and go for it! It’s all about your personal power.

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BASIC ENERGETICS the Chakras

Posted on January 25, 2011 | 2 Comments

The chakras are energy-points, or centers, situated in the body, which connect us to our energetic levels. They vitalize both our physical and energetic “bodies” and act on all levels; physical, spiritual and emotional. The main 7 chakras are situated on a straight line from the perineum to the top of our head. There are more chakras on this line above our heads, lately the 8th chakra has become more active. Situated on different parts of the body are minor, chakras that help to create an energetic “grid” within the physical body; they are found on the soles of the feet, palm of the hands, knees and shoulders. The “Marma-points” used in Ayur Vedic practice are connected with these minor chakras.

Chakras 1-3 are connected to our physical world;

  • Chakra 1; Family, Society; our first connection with life.
  • Chakra 2; Our relation to the self; Sexuality, power, creativity.
  • Chakra 3; The self in relation to the surrounding world.

Chakra 4 is the heart and it connects our spiritual and physical world.

  • Chakra 4; The heart; love and self-love. Connecting freely, willingly and with acceptance to others and ourselves.

Chakra 5 – 7 connects with our spiritual realms.

  • Chakra 5; Creativity and exploration; “speaking your mind”.
  • Chakra 6; Vision and clarity. Wider understanding.
  • Chakra 7; Spiritual awareness. This is the entrance-point of life-force, chi, prana…whatever we choose to call it.

Life-force enters through the crown-chakra and moves downwards through the chakras. Within the chakras there is a spinning motion, much like a propeller, and in this way energy is moved through the body. When there is a problem such as disease, stress or emotional imbalance, we leak energy from one or more chakras, usually the 3-4 lower chakras, creating a depletion in our system. Each chakra has a connection to a major endocrine gland

 

 

 

 

If you want to know more about how the chakras influence our lives, look at the work of Carolyn Myss. She has done some amazing work. If you get a chance to attend a workshop or conference with her, take it.

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BASIC ENERGETICS – the aura

Posted on January 20, 2011 | Leave a comment

The aura consists of energetic layers, a field of subtle, luminous radiation surrounding a person or object. Some people consciously see or sense auric energy. Most children have a strong sense for this. The aura is not consistent, it can grow larger or smaller depending on situations and feelings. A blind lady I met when I was a child, told me she “felt” colors; she was a textile-artist and worked with wool – her work was amazing!

Auras are forever interacting and communicating; this is how we pick up subtle information about our surroundings, such as people we meet. Did you ever stop and think about how you perceive other people? Why do you feel good with some and bad with others? The same goes for places; auras communicate.

Some tips on how you – unknowingly – experience your aura:

  • When you are in a crowded place other people are actually “in your space” (aura) and you feel cramped. Usually you feel “dirty” and want to take a shower when you come home – even though you showered before you went out. This feeling of “dirt” shows up as a foggy gray in the aura and needs to be “washed out”. A shower helps to clear the energy.
  • If you are stressed, the aura is clinging close to your body, giving a feeling of pressure. Go out into nature and you feel how the “pressured” feeling lifts and you have lots of space. You might even feel yourself “soaring”. Usually this can be felt around the head.
  • Next time you meet somebody new; what are your first impressions? Do you feel comfortable around them or not? How do you feel this? Some people make you feel as if they are embracing you – from across the room. Others will make you shy away in discomfort.
  • When you come into a space that is supposed to be empty and it’s not; you always sense that somebody is there. How?
  • When people come close to you, when do you start feeling invaded, at what distance? Does it differ with different people?

Look at these expressions we use in daily life:

  • “He’s larger than life”. About a person who seems to fill a room, even if they are tiny.
  • “Embrace the situation”. You can’t physically hug a situation…
  • “I felt he saw through me” or “I can read you like an open book”. No, we don’t have x-ray vision.
  • “You are invading my space”. From yards away.

All of these things, we know. We call it intuition or the sixth sense. Actually it is a very basic communication that existed way before other communication. I will leave you with a thought:

Science states that the Neanderthal-people had undeveloped speech-organs and research is done to discern what kind of sounds they were able to make. (http://www.handtomouth.ucl.ac.uk/project4/) It is understood that they had a very developed sign-language. They were mostly meat-eaters and would hunt such large animals as the mammoth. To do this, a large group would have to work together over an area so large that they probably couldn’t see each-other. Add to that the fact that any loud sounds would scare off the intended prey…how did they communicate? Just an interesting thought…

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