Category Archives: Life

It says more about you than about me…

Preconceived ideas. How many of them do we carry around and do we realize that we have them? I have been experimenting with this…Naughty, I know. Fun? Oh yes.

3 different experiments; 1) clothes 2) my company 3) walking with a bad limp. Results?

  • Clothes: I go to a hardware store all dressed up in a pencil-skirt, heels, make-up and nail-polish and ask about really “macho” things. (Here you need to know that I am a very capable woman; I clean my own chimney, change bits and pieces on my car – if I have to – and repair things around the house. I am the total Macho woman :-) ) When I am dressed up, the people talk to me like I am stupid, telling me to get a handy-man or they ignore me. I LOVE setting them straight…
  • Company: I spent a day going around town with a young male-friend of mine. We are very close friends and intimate in our bantering. He’s 24, I am 50. More often than not we are greeted with leers and outright rudeness. They think he’s my lover…People have really dirty minds.
  • Walking with a limp: Now this is tricky. It is not to make fun of disabled or handicapped people, it is about testing reactions and understanding how it would feel. People move aside, pretend they do not see, whisper and point behind my back. I feel like a pariah.

All these people probably consider themselves to be upstanding citizens, even pillars of society but the moment the “picture” doesn’t fit with their preconceived notions they draw their own conclusions without even stopping to check. They become rude, obnoxious and out-right nasty. Do they ever excuse their behavior? No, they get even angrier for being “found out”.

Moral? Don’t ever think you know what is going on with people, more often than not you might be wrong, so be very careful in your judgments. Keep an open mind and learn something from the world and the people around you.

(Pic: Denis Tombal)

ROBIN HOOD is a taoist…

This post is from another blog I’ve been writing and some of you may recognize it. I like the picture.

Take from the rich and give to the poor – this is the way of the Tao…And Robin Hood. This is a basic idea taught to us already when we are little children and as we grow up we slowly come to realize that these are but sweet words that carry little or no importance in most people’s lives: The way of man is to take from whomever (rich as well as poor) to amass great wealth and, true to the nature of programming, we do what we are shown, not what we are told.

What is interesting is that those who have little seem more ready to give or share that which they have, no matter how little it is, while in society the ones who have much usually don’t give at all. Those who do share are called “philanthropists” and are highly revered by others.

If you have more than you use, you have too much. How full is your attic? Do you know what is in the back of your closet? Maybe now would be a good time to share your excess, all that which you don’t need or want? Most of my friends have stuff squirreled away, stuff that they will never use but still drag (at great expense and work) from place to place. Liberate yourself from that load and do a good deed in the process! One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

The invisible child

If you don’t know Mumin, check it out. The author is Tove Jansson and the original stories of Mumin are by now well-known. In one of the stories an invisible child shows up on the doorstep of the Mumin-house. She excuses herself for her invisibility, explaining that she is very frightened, but can she please live with them? The family (being a very loving sort of individuals) naturally says yes and invite her in to stay with them. Only problem is that they can’t see her, so they have to be very careful not to step on her. Surrounded by all this care and love, the invisible child starts becoming visible. At first, all you can see are her feet which is helpful to the family as they can now locate her. Little by little the invisible child becomes visible to the great pleasure of the Mumin family.

The moral? Children who are in fear or carry some kind of trauma feel invisible; the shadow children. When they are carefully seen and loved they heal and become “visible” again. Children are amazingly resilient and can bounce back from almost anything, given the right circumstances. Why do we seem to lose that ability as we grow older, hanging on to traumas and fears as if they were our raison d’être?

Illustration: Tove Jansson

IN THE DITCH

Every now and then things go wrong in life – c’est normale! Question is how we handle it. Do we berate ourselves (and others) or do we look for solutions? “In the ditch” is about that; how we handle the negative stuff in life. This story was the first AHA-moment in this arena for me back in the 90′s and that’s why I want to share it with you:

My hubby and I were in the car going somewhere on a dark and icy winter-evening. For whatever reason we ended up in the ditch. I suppose we were both rather shocked at first and then angry. We got into a heated argument about why we were in the ditch and who’s fault it was. (sounds familiar?) I think we probably spent more than 30 min arguing until we were so cold that we could hardly move. Cold is sobering and at one point we realized that this squabbling would not solve our dilemma, so we put the argument aside and managed to get the car out of the ditch with some nice team-work.

The morale of the story is this: When things go wrong, you can either spend your energy and time on finding excuses and “something to blame” or you can cut your losses and get back on track. It is always good to understand the reason why something doesn’t work because it is a learning experience for future use, this is a forward moving action. But crying about something and looking for blame is paralyzing. Then you stay in the ditch until you die.

C’est normale!

My friends, The Bosnian Boys, use it as a mantra, c’est normale! They renovated my house and stayed in my life. The first time I heard this phrase was when the electricity was being done in the house, there were some weird cross-connections and when I asked he said; “C’est normale” and promptly fixed it.

C’est normale is just that; neither good nor bad…C’est normale. It is applicable to any situation and when this phrase passes your lips, it becomes true; c’est normale!

YEAR OF THE DRAGON

The year of the dragon is upon us since the 23rd of January and it is taking its first breaths. The dragon is a masterful teacher, dragon enhances everything. You’re doing good? Dragon will give you brilliance. You’re not handling stuff? Dragon will bring you to your knees. Beware of your choices and decisions in the year of the dragon – whatever you bet, Dragon will “reward” you a hundred-fold. The Dragon may be extreme – but Dragon is always interesting.

Thank you Yao and Daniel – my Chinese family <3

What are the odds?

On June 10 2010 I posted an article about Pentagon using aromatherapy to help ease combat stress. (Crying soldier) The picture I used was random and I chose it because it  touched me deeply. A couple of days ago I received a comment with information about that picture: “The photo is from The Gulf War 1, Sgt. Ken Kozakiewicz, Bradley M-60 gunner. His friend, Spc. Andy Alaniz is in the body bag on the same helicopter.

What are the odds for this to happen?

This has actually happened once before when I chose a random pic because it spoke to me, and that was on the post massage and premature babies that I wrote August 24 2009. The lady who wrote me was part of the team in that hospital.

What are the odds for this to happen?

Thank You people for reading me and Thank You for these magical moments of connection!

Wine and turkish cigarettes in the cold

From years and years ago, in the time of free youth and know-it-all I remember heated discussions on philosophy, religion and other things that make the world tick. Dressed in black and passionate I was wildly moved by the meeting with others, the discussions – sometimes so heated – and the freedom of allowing my mind to wander along meandering, never before experienced trails. There were no limits and time was timeless…

(pic from my friend Christoph)

I thought I lost it; in the chaos of being mother, woman, wife, settler and just more or less grown up, it slid away and vanished. Hah! Nothing ever goes away.. I again spend evenings with other passionate heated individuals with a new take on life. They are boys and girls, men and women. They come from wherever with whatever history and we share our thoughts and liberate our minds… Life is beautiful although she sometimes plays tricks on us. And time is of no consequence at all.

Living the experiment…part 2

After 15 years in the Swedish forest I moved to Luxembourg. I found a nice house with a wonderful garden in a nice village with nice people. Life was great…And comfortable; streetlights, paved roads, water and plumbing all done, woopwoop! I was looking forward to a life more comfortable and easier than the years in the forest, but within a sustainable frame.  Trust me, it’s not as easy as it sounds. It takes thought and planning:

  • Shopping is done in stores – always. This means packaging galore and boy are people into packaging! So I make choices based on the packaging and of course the foodstuffs; no expensive crappy packaged and processed food.
  • Trash: Luxembourg is amazing in that you get little bins for recycling that then are collected at your house every 2 weeks – impressive! I started a compost where a lot of stuff goes, including the ashes from the stove. The bonus of the compost is that the moles have stopped killing off my plants and instead hang out in the compost which we now call the mole-feeder :-) I ordered the smallest dustbin, 60 liters, which is collected once a week. Thanks to the mole-feeder and the brilliant recycling, this tiny dustbin is more than enough, even when my house is full.
  • Heating: Luxembourg is a lot less cold in winter than Sweden and already that simplifies a lot. I have electric heating in the house and during winter keeping the house warm would cost me a fortune, so I installed a wood-burning stove that heats more or less the whole house. It takes work and planning but it functions beautifully and I can keep my living-area wonderfully warm. I absolutely detest cold weather and refuse to go outside unnecessarily in winter, the wood-work forces me out every day for some good strength-training…Automatic health :-)
  • Water: There seems to be unlimited amounts of water all the time, the hot water is created in a boiler. It is so easy to just use, use, use…This is a bit trickier to keep check of, but I keep the usage down, no need to use everything just because it’s there. And the garden must survive the occasional dry spell in summer.

At the end of the day my bills are down, my house is warm, the moles are fed and my garden gives me berries and fruit in abundance…I love making jam :-) I don’t grow my food as I used to in the forest because I am really enjoying the comfort of life here and growing food is a lot of work.

Conclusion: Even if I was stinking rich and could get everything I wanted in the amounts I wanted it, I would still live this way. What might have started out as an economical solution or necessity has turned into a life-style of respect for the Earth and all the gifts she showers us with. Everything has a price even if we don’t notice it and we need to remember that.

Another noteworthy point is that sustainable living is automatically healthy and even if it takes some work and planning, it is still both easier and cheaper than going to the gym or trying to stay on a diet. You can only win.

RESTRICTING REGULATIONS and oranges

How far can regulations reach, where is reasonable? There are bodies to regulate more or less anything in the name of safety. For your safety, Folks. What starts out as a good idea in order to regulate toxic substances seem to have accelerated into the idea that everything is toxic.

Just to give you an idea; limonene, found in citrus-fruits, has been judged a skin irritant by a “body”. Now here is reality:

  • The hazardous substance occurs when limonene oxidizes (the aging process), oxidized limonene is an irritant.
  • Limonene is found in a majority of house-hold products and is considered safe. There are no restrictions.
  • Limonene is found in many food-stuffs and drinks, including babyfoods, it’s an excellent taste enhancer.
  • Every time you handle a citrus-fruit – and especially when you peel it – you get rather large amounts of limonene on your skin.

All these facts aside, “people” are afraid of limonene :-) and it has been branded a skin-hazard not to be used. So if this is the case, why are we allowed to eat oranges?